Friday, January 25, 2013

The Return of Abel Behena

Dear all,

Please give your opinion. Is there anything that you would like to change in the story?

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Our comment would be about the plot. The plot is quite so-so and there is no suspense in the story. I mean, it should be a horror-romance story right ?

However, we also learned how love influenced people. Love can be dangerous sometimes. Not bad. There are some moral values we can learn from this story.

Next thing, we would like to change the ending. When Eric and Sarah were about to vow to each other, Abel came to the wedding ceremony and surprised everyone. Sarah ran towards Abel and gave him a hug. Abel told everyone what exactly happen on that stormy day. Eric then was thrown to jail as a punishment for what he had done.

Happy ending >,<


Aisyah Zafirah & Siti Hajar.

azri said...

it is a good story. through the characters, we can see how friendship could end because of love. maybe the method that sarah's mother used in choosing either eric or abel to marry her daughter was quite unfair. i think if there is a change in the story, maybe sarah's mother should choose another way rather than by flipping a coin. perhaps both of them should go sailing and start their own business. then, whoever came back with most wealth could marry sarah.

Anonymous said...

I think Eric should saved Abel because they were best friend and they should not destroy their friendship just because of Sarah.

Anonymous said...

Eric should move on and find another woman.

Anonymous said...

In our opinion, the plot is quite interesting and full of suspense but we don't think the ending is good enough. The writer should give more descriptions about what happen next to Eric and Sarah, whether they are still together or not and also what happen to Abel Behena. Is he really died or something else? However, the writer really did a good job!

If we were the writer, we would like to make both Eric and Abel go to the foreign countries and sell their toys there. Then who is able to come back first and become rich will get the chance to marry Sarah.

Sincerely from,
Izzati and Rabi'ahtul :)

Anonymous said...

Asslamualaikum, Madam Yati. I'm Aida Hannah.
First of all, I want to comment on the story above:
1) The woman Abel and Eric fell for, Sarah, she should be more patient and wait for Abel to come back as she had promised him.
2) Sarah should not have listened to Eric's words of selfishness (?). Haha.
3) Eric was so cruel. He only thought of himself and how he felt. Selfish.

There are something I would like to change in the story.
1) Abel should really be haunting Eric since he was dead.
2) or, Abel should have been saved by something and take revenge on Eric and Sarah.

_nadhirah said...

As a friend, Eric should sacrifice his love towards Sarah for his best friend,Abel behena..who had saved his life !

Anonymous said...

My commnet based on the story is basically, the storyline was indeed very good and has a very good plot.

However, the ending was a bit disappointing and didn't go well like I expected.
Sarah should've hold to her promise and trust herself and Abel that he would comeback on her birthday, instead she choose to get marry with Eric.
Also, Eric is not a good friend and very selfish. He should've help Abel and not let him go and drowned himself.

The changes that I'll like to make is at the end of the story, Abel is not dead and he managed to survived because someone had helped him. And even though he didn't get to marry Sarah, he would seek a revenge on Eric and let he taste his own medicine.

-Wan Nor Fakhira-

fieyyyyrrrr said...

i think Sarah should think positively about Abel.Sarah should not meet Eric everyday and gives hope to Eric.Eric also should save Abel life because they are friend since they are children.thus,friendship is more important than love.

I would change when 11th April Sarah will wait Abel until the end of the day.She decide not to marry Eric on that day.at suddenly she heard footstep in front of her house.She become scared.She opened the door and Abel appeared in front of her.then he say 'will you marry me?'.Sarah looked at Abel and smile :) -zafierah and umi-

fieyyyyrrrr said...

i think Sarah should think positively about Abel.Sarah should not meet Eric everyday and gives hope to Eric.Eric also should save Abel life because they are friend since they are children.thus,friendship is more important than love.

I would change when 11th April Sarah will wait Abel until the end of the day.She decide not to marry Eric on that day.at suddenly she heard footstep in front of her house.She become scared.She opened the door and Abel appeared in front of her.then he say 'will you marry me?'.Sarah looked at Abel and smile :) -zafierah and umi-

Anonymous said...

My opinion about the story is, i think that Eric shouldn't destroy his friendship with Abel Behena just because of Sarah. I think the story line was okay but the ending is quite dissaponting. I was curios to know what happend to Eric and Sarah after they're married. And what happen to Sarah after she's awake. I don't want to change anything in the story.

sow yie lin said...

I am SOW YIE LIN.
Hi madam,
My opinion about anything that I would like to change in the story:
1. If I am Abel OR Eric , I would prefer to choose my friendship than the love one.
2. I hope Abel is alive so that the story can become a horror romance revenge story.This kind of story will be more interesting.
3.Abel had been saved by the villagerS.he bless Eric and Sarah.That will be a happy ending.
thank you.

Anonymous said...

I am SOW YIE LIN from english class.
Hi madam,
My opinion about anything that I would like to change in the story:
1. If I am Abel OR Eric , I would prefer to choose my friendship than the love one.
2. I hope Abel is alive so that the story can become a horror romance revenge story.This kind of story will be more interesting.
3.Abel had been saved by the villagers.he bless Eric and Sarah.That will be a happy ending.
thank you.

Anonymous said...

Peace be upon u madam, i'm muaz salleh and I want to give a comment about dialogues in a scene. from my opinion, a scene which abel and eric said their love and wishes to marry sarah. from the talks of both men, it didn't show the appropriate emotion like an example: would you like to marry me? said eric...and then the quotes repeated again by abel. so it doesn't make sense of enjoyable to me when read it. if im the abel b.. I shall say like this,: sarah don't marry him, im better and more kind than him. so that's all from me. sorry for bad English. peace be upon you again.

Anonymous said...

My comment on the story :

- It doesn't go well with me because I don't really like a story that potrays betrayal among friends just because of love . to me , love is pure so you could never love two people at one time . Sarah should have known by doing that , she will destroy Abel and Eric's relationship . it is very cruel of her . she deserve a smack on the forehead . love is not a gamble . To me it's abit offensive when Eric and Abel try to win Sarah's love by flipping coin . as a girl , we too have pride . It is very cruel of Eric to let go of Abel . Abel had saved Eric's life when he was 14 years old . Doesn't he feel guilty ? he tried to take Sarah away from Abel his savior ? later he tried to kill Abel ? He should have back off when he loose to Abel . Sarah should have waited until 12 mid night . she had made promises to Abel not to marry anyone before 11th April . how could she have the heart to marry Eric ? she knew that they were bestfriend before and she was the cause of the broken relationship . then she even dared to marry Eric before Abel returns ? before 11th April ? another smack on the forehead .I don't want to know how Abel feels when he saw Eric and Sarah in their wedding dress ? it must have hurt so bad to see your former bestfriend taking your sweetheart away clad in their wedding attire. He must felt a pang in his heart . This story is full of conflict and spices of life . But this is life , full of ups and downs and challenges .

Things that I would like to change in the story :

- Sarah should have kept her promise to Abel not to marry anyone before 11th April , as he is trying to make money so that he could marry her . but what did he gets in return ? Getting betrayed by his own bestfriend . someone that he trusted and had shared their growing life together.

- Eric should have died when he was 14-year-old . Abel should have just let go of Eric , then . cruel aren't I ?

- The ending should be : Abel should have gone back to the foreign country and marry any rich girl and come back to the village and show off to Sarah and Eric . show them that he could find someone who is better than Sarah . rub the fact on their faces .

-Ilya Dayana-

fieyyyyrrrr said...

1)This story is interesting and made us eager to know what is going to happen next.This story is about a friendship where Abel had risked his life just to save Eric once but Eric had betrayed Abel when he let Abel drown into the sea just because of love.While Sarah was not kept on promise because she agreed to marry Eric before the date which is unwise..
2)It doesn't matter if Abel was dead at the end of the story but we just want Eric to tell everyone the truth or at least Sarah and admit his mistake.Then it is depends on Sarah if she still want to accept Eric.
-aisyah rabihah and Ong Jie Shi

Anonymous said...

My comment on the story :

- It doesn't go well with me because I don't really like a story that potrays betrayal
among friends just because of love . to me , love is pure so you could never
love two people at one time . Sarah should have known by doing that , she will destroy
Abel and Eric's relationship . it is very cruel of her . she deserve a smack on the forehead .
love is not a gamble . To me it's abit offensive when Eric and Abel try to win Sarah's
love by flipping coin . as a girl , we too have pride . It is very cruel of Eric to
let go of Abel . Abel had saved Eric's life when he was 14 years old . Doesn't
he feel guilty ? he tried to take Sarah away from Abel his savior ? later he tried to kill Abel ?
He should have back off when he loose to Abel . Sarah should have waited until
12 mid night . she had made promises to Abel not to marry anyone before
11th April . how could she have the heart to marry Eric ?
she knew that they were bestfriend before and she was the cause of the broken relationship .
then she even dared to marry Eric before Abel returns ? before 11th April ? another smack
on the forehead .I don't want to know how Abel feels when he saw Eric and Sarah in their wedding dress ?
it must have hurt so bad to see your former bestfriend taking your sweetheart away clad in their wedding attire.
He must felt a pang in his heart . This story is full of conflict and spices of life .
But this is life , full of ups and downs and challenges .

Things that I would like to change in the story :

- Sarah should have kept her promise to Abel not to marry anyone before 11th April ,
as he is trying to make money so that he could marry her . but what did he gets in return ?
Getting betrayed by his own bestfriend . someone that he trusted and had shared their growing life together.

- Eric should have died when he was 14-year-old . Abel should have just let go of Eric , then .
cruel aren't I ?

- The ending should be : Abel should have gone back to the foreign country and marry any rich
girl and come back to the village and show off to Sarah and
Eric . show them that he could find someone who is better than Sarah . rub the fact on their
faces .

-Ilya Dayana-

Anonymous said...

That i would like to change in the story is Eric do not have to kill his closed friend,actually.They can talk about that and discuss with Sarah and her mother as a profesional.However,Eric have to safe Abel Behena because Abel safe Eric's life and they can be best friend forever.
-Nur Fatma Farhanah & Nur Iman Sabrina-

.contengan jiwa. said...

Abel was saved by the villagers and he ran into the wedding day with a weak body and live happily ever after. Eric start a new life and was aware of his actions against Abel is not appropriate because they have been friends since childhood .

.contengan jiwa. said...

Abel was rescued by villagers and ran with his body ​​weak to the wedding day and live happily ever after. Eric was very sorry for his actions against Abel and has apologized. Eric start a new life and go traveling.