Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Welcome to Parenting Class :-) (Sem 2, 2010/2011)

Salam everyone,

So far so good? I am sorry for not writing earlier. This is my first entry after a long, long time. Yes, I AM guilty as charged - for not maintaining my blog. T.Harv Eker a self-made millionaire mentioned the 'Law of Maintenance' which basically means anything that we wish to be in a good condition should be constantly 'well-maintained' i.e like a good relationship VS a hit-and-run one. If this is difficult to achieve, perhaps the practice of KAIZEN is an option. Doing something small but on a constant basis.hem.... But I'm not going to blabber on that. Now, I want to discuss about this course you are taking.

Hem....where shall we start? Oh yes, I told you in our first class - to START with a FRESH mindset - to leave behind any negative/ wrong models of parenting that you have experienced so far. This is very IMPORTANT so that we are not replicating the bad ones to our next generation. I would use 'we' alternately as a device to remind myself too!

Let me start on a positive or a rather beautiful quotation. I took this and other quotations from the book "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert. "There is no greater risk than matrimony. But there is nothing happier than a happy marriage." - Benjamin Disraeli,1870, In a letter to Queen Victoria's daughter Louise, congratulating her on her engagement. Beautiful isn't it? "Nothing happier than a happy marriage" Ahhh!!..But you got to be happily married to truly understand what this means!

....and so my task begins... I hope to shed some light into this matter. I wish I had a similar course like this when I was studying in UPM between 1990-1996. I only had 'Munakahat' class that I took at the evening religious school in Johor when I was younger. That was a really good one. However, no one told me of the challengers being a working mum and wife back then. It wasn't my ustazah's fault at all. She wouldn't have any inclination back then that the world is going to move so rapidly that young men and women need to be told of their 'rights' and 'obligations' in this challenging context.

The most important thing is to know how do we go about compromising with each other while maintaining rights of both the husband and wife? Because we come to understand that "Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone" (p.81), that we must seek to understand in order to be understood (from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People).

So....I shall hand you this platform to discuss and throw your ideas....what are the rights and obligations of a husband and a wife - from the Islamic and also from other perspectives. Let us free ourselves from any gender bias and discuss this matter with an open mind. We also know very well the great mandate that Allah had bestowed upon men called 'husbands'. Even our mothers can't supersede them. Pretty cool and awesome to be given the highest rank don't you think? But again, what are their obligations to their wives and children? Can this 'mandate' lead to corruption of power? (Sorry guys, no intention of being sarcastic here). Hehe..So..... think hard and do some homework...coz a good homework will usually produce good results :-)..

See you soon!


Anonymous said...

salam madam..i'm enjoy watching the movie "the miracle workers"..very touching actually..everyone face their challenge..especially helen keller faced great challenge,she struggle to manage her life..people in there try to cope with her disability..truly,after watching the movie, it take me more time to muhasabah..i realized the world now become challenging..thank you madam..

Wan Najihah Wan Hassan said...

salam madam..i'am glad to thank you to watching movie on title "the miracle workers"..it is touching movie actually..all people there are in challenging condition..helen keller has great challenge to manage her life..and everyone face their challenge to cope her disability...truly,after watching the movie and listen your words abaout how worried you are towards new generation, yah i take more time to think what you had said and what the movie try to convey their message..now i realized the world is more challenging..on behalf of myself, i need to improve myself in term of behaviour, skill,language and commnication as well as knowledge..thank you madam..you are the person always such kind of good motivator..thank you

Anonymous said...

i'm the first to comment! hehe
marriage is a holy matrimony between a man and woman of his choice. many hope that their 1st wedding is their last wedding. to have a ever lasting marriage is not easy. ones have to fully understand the purpose of marriage and the rights and obligations of the husband and the wife.in islam,the husband deserved the right to be fully respected and obeyed at all time except for things prohibited in islam. however, man hold the biggest responsibility in marriages. he must provide his family enough support in term of attention/care and financial.the duty of wife is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage in the most possible way. she must be attentive to the husband comfort and well being, she must appeared sexually attractive, must take care of her husband possessions and importantly must not deceive her husband in any way.
but, she also has certain rights that the husband must respect. she must be love and protected, she may ask for separate accommodation if she do not want to live with the husband family(mazhab hanbali, shafie, and hanafi).
in christian jurisdiction, husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect and render mutual help and support.however the expenses of the household is a joint responsibility. basically, in all religions, marriages is the holy bonding between man and woman and a successful marriage is the basic pillar for a harmonious community.

fauziah romali
group 8

Anonymous said...

Marriage in Islam is a sacred contract of duties and responsibilities between between two partners who have agreed to marry each other.Marriage is not a small matter. When a person decided to get married, he/she has to carry a big responsibility towards harmony life not only between his/her partner, but also between all family members. Husband and wife, each of them must to know and fully understand what are their rights and obligations towards marriage at the moment they decided to live with each other. The husband has a big responsibility in taking care of the family life including the financial aspect, and the wife should be supporting and helping her husband in maintaining the stability of marriage.
A wife has the rights to have a privacy and comfort residence, clothing, food, and general care from her husband. The husband should be able to fulfill the welfare of his wife. Other than that, he must treat his wife with equity, respect her feelings by showing kindness and consideration, and also not having any intention to bring harm towards her. Next, the wife’s obligations in fulfilling the husband rights are to contribute and support as much as she can in maintaining the success and blissfulness of their marriage. A wife should devote herself in order to comfort and take care of the well-being of her husband. She must be honest, trustworthy and faithful. Besides, she should be able to fulfill her husband sexual needs and not deceive him by any kind of avoidance. A wife should not perform any kind of act that the husband does not like and she must ask his permission first before going out, before accepting any gifts, or before receive anyone in his home. She must also lowered her voice and talking nicely to him.
Husband and wife must take a good care and love each other. Learn to love our partner is not only by accepting what is good about him/her, but also must learn how to accept and tolerate with the bad side of him/her too. In any circumstance, both husband and wife must understand each other difficulties and abilities. Communication, consideration and toleration play an important role at this stage. Other than that, both of them should avoid any kind of act or relationship that can bring jealousy, suspicion or gossip that will lead to marriage instability. Each of them must have mutual love, respect and understanding, therefore, insya-Allah their marriage will be successful and long-lasting.


Anonymous said...

Assalamu'alaikum. Alhamdulillah, me 3rd! :)

Agree with Fauziah, marriage is a sacred bond between man and women that bound with some rules & obligation. The couple should understand the obligation that their should fulfill in order to maintain the happiness and justice in marriage.

What comes to my mind about marriage is 2 words. Responsibility but yet Tranquility. Marriage is such a tough job & decision that someone makes in their life. Huge responsibility will burden them but yet it will become easy when the couple understand and tolerating each other. Marriage is not just a simple declaration of "you will be mine" something like that forever. Because it
can be broken if either one of the couples didn't get their rights and in other cases, one didn't do their obligation wisely.

So, the question to prevent from worst case scenario happen is "what are the rights and obligations of a husband and a wife - from the Islamic and also from other perspectives?"

To simplify, obligation and right is like what you give and another one take. In this matter, Husband's obligation (he should provide) - Wife's right (she should have) and vice versa.

The Wife's Rights; The Husband's Obligations:

For a husband, he are the most responsible man in the family. From Islamic perspectives, the obligation of a husband are [1] Consort with his wife in an equitable and kind manner. [2] Have responsibility for the full maintenance of the wife, a duty which he must discharge cheerfully, without reproach, injury, or condescendence. Maintenance means the wife has the right to be clothed, fed, and cared for by the husband, in accordance with his means and her style of life and also the welfare of the wife and the stability of the marriage should be the ultimate goal. From other perspectives, a husband should [1] Treat his wife with equity, [2] Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration, [3] Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or uncertainty, [4] Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or hindering her
freedom, [5] Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or sympathy for her.

The Wife's Obligations; The Husband's Rights:

For a wife, she should [1] be faithful, trustworthy, and honest; [2] not deceive her mate by deliberately avoiding conception lest it deprive him of legitimate progeny; [3] not allow any other person to have access to that which is exclusively the husband's right; [4] not receive anyone in his home whom the husband does not like; [5] not accept their gifts without his approval. This is probably meant to avoid jealousy, suspicion, gossip, etc., and also to maintain the integrity of all parties concerned; [6] not lend or dispose of any of her husband's belongings without his permission as the husband's possessions are her trust; [7] with respect to intimacy, the wife is to make herself desirable; to be attractive, responsive, and cooperative and not deny herself to her husband.

Thus, for me & my friends, from now on, we should ready to be a good parent. InsyaAllah. :)

Muhamad Shafiq Abu Hassan
Group 8

Anonymous said...

marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. the general purpose of marriage is so that men and women can love one another, provide company to each other, procreate and live in peace an tranquility. by getting married, men are not just getting a wife, but they are geting their world. From now until the rest of their days, the wife will be their partner, their companion , and their best friend. like Quranic's verse says in surah al baqarah (2:187)):"they are your garments and you are their garments". As husband, they are responsible to make their wife in a good condition and always happy.it is the responsibility for husband to give maintanance, mahr and non-material rights. Prophet Muhammad SAW said:"The best Muslim is one who is the best husband". the marriage is not the responsible of the husband only, but the happy ever after marriage is also come from the wife.the wife should be trustworthy and honest to her husband. finally, the successful marriage depend on both parties, it like a scales with balanced handed that balance each other.

group 8

Anonymous said...

A marriage engagement between man and woman is among the great signs
of Allah where the purpose is to create tranquillity and enjoy love and blessings
of Allah. “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from
among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts)” (30:21). However, the marriage contract
in Islam bears these implications: it must be permanent as humanly as possible,
it must be a mutual consent of both husband and wife, it must be with reasonable
dowry, and it must be with equal rights and obligations,and each spouse
complements the other socially, psychologically and spiritually.However, rights do not come without responsibility, and in Islamic marriages,
both the husband and wife have joint and specific responsibilities. A husband is
responsible for the protection, happiness and maintenance of his wife according
to his means and resources. He is to avoid unlawful sexual intercourse with her
during her monthly period and anal sex, to keep his wife honourably or to free
her from the bond of marriage honourably (2:222-242). The wife is to obey her
husband in matters which are not against the principles of Islam, nor harmful to
her or put unreasonable hardship on her, be attentive to the comfort and well
being of her husband, and be considerate in her demands. She should consult
him in dealing with people outside the family, take care of her husband’s
possessions, and not deny herself to her husband without any genuine reason.
Both of them have obligations to exchange help, understanding, forgiving, love,
protection, and flexibility.

husaini rani
group 8

Anonymous said...

I can’t deny that at my age now, all of us are thinking about marriage. But, I’m pretty sure that not all of us deeply understand the meaning of marriage. The meaning of marriage is differs from one person to another, and from one time to another. In ancient times, a marriage meant a condition in which a woman was given to a man almost as property, and often as part of a political, social, and business arrangement. For much of human history, marriage has been a permanent institution that, once entered into, cannot be dissolved except by the death of one of the spouses. However, in Islam, marriage means legal binding contract between two parties with some negotiations and conditions.

It’s not as easy as ABC to carry this big task when we become a husband or wife to someone. Only love is not enough to make sure our marriage sustainable. Understanding, giving full commitments and responsibilities are the basic criteria to determine either our marriage is successful or not. And, we have to understand the concept of the wife’s rights; the husband obligations and the husband’s rights; the wife’s obligations.

For a husband, as a leader of a family, his obligations are to guide his family to the right path and provide all the physical needs to his family such as food, clothes, medical treatment, education and housing. The wife's residence must be adequate so as to provide her with the reasonable level of privacy, comfort, and independence. The residence here means true of clothing, food, and general care. The wife has the right to be clothed, fed, and cared for by the husband, in accordance with his means and her style of life. But, these rights are to be exercised without extravagance or miserliness. A husband also needs to treat his wife with full of equity, kindness, consideration and respect her feeling. If there is no love and sympathy left in the marriage, a husband must let her demand freedom from the marital bond. Never keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or hindering her freedom.

For a wife, her responsibilities are just for her husband. She must be faithful to obey all the orders of her husband unless it is beyond and against the Islamic laws, and be trustworthy and honest, which means never tell lies to her husband in any condition and never tell her husband’s secrets to anyone even though he is a bad person. With respect to intimacy, a wife needs to make herself desirable, attractive, responsive, and cooperative. A wife may not deny herself to her husband, for the Qur'an speaks of them as a comfort to each other. She must ready to serve her husband mentally and physically without and feeling of duality in all times.

But, today, the situation is a bit different. Both husband and wife have a lot of other commitment such as works, and they need to be more compromise and understanding to each other. Give your partner chances and help them to improve their selves. Life is so beautiful if tranquility and compassions can be achieved between the spouses and it is a gift from God to lead a happy and enjoyable life.

Noraishah A Majid
Group 8

Anonymous said...

Men and women are married not just to have the joyous moment in life but they are carrying responsibility as well with them. As for men, from the Islamic perspectives, they carry huge responsibilities. Husband is the captain of his ship and the direction taken by the ship is determined by him.
Men’s first obligation is to take full responsibility for the welfare of his wife. This includes feeding, clothing and shelter for the wife and for any children of the marriage. This is a legally enforceable duty, which remains even after divorce until the expiry of the Iddah or even longer in the view of some of the scholars. Financial responsibility for the family therefore rests squarely on the husband, and the wife has no duty to contribute to family expenses unless she has the means and the wish to do so. He is also expected to give her company and marital relations, and to avoid doing anything that would harm her .Husband deserves to get full care and attention from his wife. He deserved to get proper treatment from her wife.
While the responsibility of the wife is to take care of her husband. She is not allowed to go out from home without her husband permission. As a good wife, she must respect her husband and take care of her husband dignity. She is not allowed to do something that will lower her husband dignity. As an example, expose her husband secret to someone else. The wife is obliged to follow her husband wherever he may establish his residence. Wife as well got her right. Husband must give nafqah to his wife. Then, she deserved to get kind and proper treatment from her husband. Another right is to be taught about religion by her husband and to defend her honor. He should defend her whenever she is slandered or spoken ill of behind her back.

raja nur asila raja mazlan
group 8

Anonymous said...

In Islam, marriage is considered as 'aqd or sacred contract between a man (husband) and a woman (wife). Both parties are agreed to share their life together to have a happy and enjoyable life. I bet everyone wants their marriage to be everlasting. Sadly, some contracts are broken and not all marriage last forever. Thus, both parties either husband or wife must know their rights and obligations to fulfill the aim of having happy,enjoyable and tranquility marriage and family life.Islam has clearly mentioned and laid down the right and obligations of husband and wife in the Qur'an and Hadith to avoid any confusions. Generally, husband and wife has the equal responsibility to provide emotional, spiritual and psychological happiness to each other. But, man or the husband has the added responsibility to provide his wife with economic and basic needs. This is shown in surah Al-Baqarah, verse 22; "And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise". Thus, husband has to treat his wife in an equitable and kind manner.He must also provide guidance and protection towards his wife. The wife has right to enjoy material needs according to her status as long as it is within the husband capacity. Wife also has her own responsibility in a marriage. First and foremost, a wife should respect,listen and obey his husband as long as it is not contradict with Islamic Law. Wife must also try to protect her husband pride by not telling others about their marital problems. Both husband and wife has equal responsibility in educating their children and maintain their loves towards each other.
Other religions also emphasized on the importance of protecting and maintaining the sacred contract in marriage.However, the responsibility in providing needs and necessities are on both parties, husband and wife. Other religions stressed on the importance of having mutual and equal responsibilities in their marriage life.


Anonymous said...


Marriage is the union between man and woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife. In a marriage, each side has its own right and responsibility toward the other in order to create a happy and blissful family. From the Islamic perspective, the rights and obligations of a husband and a wife has been clearly defined in Holy Quran and Hadith.
The rights of a husband or the obligations of a wife to her husband are obedience towards the husband as long as it does not contradict shariah, always making herself available to her husband, not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes into the house without the husband‘s permission, not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission, submitting herself to him, and the wife should treat her husband in a good manner.
The right of a wife or the obligations of a husband can be divided into 2, which are financial and non-financial rights. The financial rights are the mahr (dowry), accommodation or provide a suitable place to live in, and the spending on the wife, for example spending on food, and clothing. The non-financial rights are being treated kindly, not harming the wife for unreasonable excuse, and educate the wife on religious knowledge.
The responsibilities of both sides are heavy and it is no wonder that it is hard to find the right person to be ‘the one’. However, we should improve ourselves, as stated on the Holy Quran, “...and men of purity are for women of purity.. .” (An-Nur: 26). Let us pray to Allah that we will be blessed with the husband or wife that will help and accompany us to heaven, not dragging us to hell. Insha Allah.

Ahmad Alias
Section 8

Anonymous said...

it's quite hard to talk about obligation in marriage without getting biased especially if you have this thing called 'gender'! well, for me in marriage there are obligations that are shared by both party and some that are exclusive to wife or husband. shared obligation are like caring for the kids, educating the kids, creating a conducive and Islamic environment for the family and making sure that both of them looks their best for each other. The husbands on their part are obliged to provide the family with materials and possessions a.k.a money, and also to protect the family from harm, and i think one that most husbands forget is to love their wife as much as they can possibly love a human being. The wives on the other hand needs to take care of her spouse, physical and mental needs, so that their husband feels comfortable at home with the family, and be loyal to him. talking about loyalty, it got thinking, is for both or just for the wives to oblige??? because in Islam the men are allowed to marry four wives, so if the the husband is obliged to be loyal to their spouses, polygamy will be out of context..hmmmm? but i think the husband needs to loyal to his wife too, but not in a degree that is simlar to what that is obliged to the wife. i think those can make a happy marriage.

Anas Akmal 0917319 G8

Anonymous said...


Marriage is a legal agreement of a close and intimate union of a man and woman, where both sides enjoy the rights and obligation as husband and wife. Marriage is really encouraged in Islam because it brings tranquility and helps develop the true vicegerents of Allah. However, for a marriage to be everlasting, joyous and successful, the partners have to be compatible with each other and each party has to fulfill his/her responsibilities.

In terms of compatibility, Islam urges a person to first select a partner who has strong faith (Iman). By selecting a partner with strong faith, the partner can protect the person from evildoing that causes the person to go astray. The second criteria in Islam for a person selecting a partner is that the partner's characteristics such as lifestyle and thinking are compatible with the person's characteristic. With these two important criterion fulfilled, a successful marriage can occur.

However, compatibility alone is not enough for a successful marriage. Marriage is hard work and it requires cooperation from both the husband and wife. In Islam, it is mandatory for both parties to protect the family from sinful activities. Both are required to love each other, treat each other with respect and focus on the positive characteristics of each party as no one is perfect. As for the husband, his main responsibility is to provide resources and welfare for the family. As for the wife, her main responsibility is to utilize the resources provided and help the husband raise the future servants of Allah.

When two compatible partners fulfill their responsibilities, only then a joyous and successful marriage can occur.

Group 8

Anonymous said...



Marriage is the nature of God bestowed on human beings, male or female. According to Islam, marriage is not on the demands of desire, but the claims of religion. Marriage is not merely to satisfy lust but to meet the goals of human beings to worship Allah. So, every Muslim or Muslimah must plan for their marriage fall within the framework closer to Allah. Basically, the husband-wife relationship is a relationship that is based on the principles of friendship, mutual understanding and mutual needs. Husband and wife relationship will be more meaningful if the spouse is carrying out their respective responsibilities. The tenets of Islam have explained their rights and responsibilities.

The Wife's Rights; The Husband's Obligations:
1) Prepare for her dowry.
2) Provide shelter for his wife. 3) Support food and drink, clothing, equipment requirements, etc. according to need. 4) Spiritual support and hospitality to his wife.
5) Treat the wives fairly if polygamy.
6) Give religious instruction, if she did not know or no knowledge, especially about fardhu ain issues such as obligatory prayer.
7) Did not reveal to others about his embarrassment or secret.
8) The husband must give permission to his wife if they want to see a sick relative or to visit if one is dead.

The Wife's Obligations; The Husband's Rights:
1) Obey her husband in any matter that does not cause evil or sins to God.
2) Maintain the dignity and honour of her husband.
3) Maintain the property of husband. 4) Not allowing people who are not loved by her husband into the house.
5) Do not leave home without the consent of the husband. 6) Lower the voice when speaking to her husband.
7) Travelling with him if asked.

Rights and Responsibilities of both Husband and Wife:
1) Couples must be mutual trust and cannot be treacherous betrayal.
2) Love and respect each other. 3) Polite, gentle in the association, mutual appreciation and respect.
4) Husband and wife are obliged to maintain good relation between the parents and family members of both parties.
5) Give affection and proper education to their children.
6) Maintain and strengthen the tenets of the household.

As many people said:
(sorry in Malay..hehe)

For husband,
Isteri menjadi tanah kamu langit penaungnya
Isteri ladang tanaman kamu pemagarnya
Isteri kiasan ternakan kamu gembalanya
Isteri adalah murid kamu mursyidnya
Isteri bagaikan anak kecil kamu tempat bermanjanya
Saat isteri menjadi madu kamu teguklah sepuasnya
Seketika isteri menjadi racun kamulah penawar bisanya Seandainya isteri tulang yang bengkok berhatilah meluruskannya….

And for wife,
Suami menjadi pelindung kamu penghuninya Suami adalah nahkoda kapal kamu pengemudinya Suami bagaikan pelakon yang nakal kamu adalah penonton kenakalannya
Saat suami menjadi raja kamu nikmati anggur singgahsananya Seketika suami menjadi bisa kamulah penawar ubatnya Seandainya suami bengis lagi lancang sabarlah memperingatkannya...

What is described above is only part of the rights and responsibilities between husband and wife in the household. Remember, if the husband is not fulfilling the right of his wife, the husband had made a mistake. Similarly, if a wife does not fulfill the rights of her husband she was doing nusyuz~

Anonymous said...

By definition,marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman to lead a happy,enjoyable life and to continue lineage.When we talk about marriage,1st of all we need to take a look on the main objective of marriage itself.The main goal of marriage in Islam is the realization of tranquility and compassion between the spouses. For this purpose, Islam defined certain duties and rights for the husband and wife.
The husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support.However,the great responsibility comes to husband because he will be the leader and the chairman of the family.He has to be able to financially support his wife and family. Besides,he need to treat his wife with kindness, honour and patience, to keep her honourably of free her from marital bond honourably, and to cause her no harm of grief.If the wife has done something bad,the husband should give advice in a soft manner as to avoid on hurting her feelings.
As a wife, the main obligation as a partner in a marital relationship is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as possible. A wife is not just a wife but a friend,a soul mate and companion. She must be attentive,supportive and always stand behind her husband.She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings.In addition,she must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest.There is a quote said :"What a happy man is the husband who sees his wife’s firm religion and follows her and he himself becomes pious not to lose her in the afterlife. And what a lucky woman is the wife who sees her husband’s firmness in religion and becomes pious not to lose her eternal friend".To summarize a wife has to obey her husband in whatever he says as it is not going far astray from Islamic teachings.It is the wife who plays a role in order to maintain and cherish the marriage life.
Yet,Islam also stipulated mutual right between husband and wife.Two things to be highlighted;husband-wife relationship is to be based not on dry legal rules or decisions but on mutal respect, love and regard;husband is alone responsible for the entire cost of, and the wife is the misstress of, the household.From these,we can interpret that both parties are abide by their obligations and responsibility.Hence,they should cooperate,show tolerance as well as have good communication to prevent from any confusion in their marriage life.
Everyone wants a happy ever after and everlasting marriage and hope that it is the first and only marriage.Thus,both husband and wife should play their role in order to achieve this.
Hope we will attain this goal and always pray for the happiness..Amiinn...

Nor Salamah Mohamad Hidayat
Grp 8

Anonymous said...

Marriage ties have a great impact and significance in any given society all over the world. It is a tremendous bond that ties between the husband and wife. ". As a result of this bond, many rights and requirements are imposed on both, towards each other, their children, their in-laws, their relatives and their social obligations .The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet (s ) according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj. On the other hand, Islam offers man an edge in the relationship due to the fact that man, has better discipline, more logical judgment, less emotion and different position in the society. Also man generally has a better income, which makes him more financially responsible for welfare of his family members. Both husband and wife must commit themselves fully to each other in the light of Islam, or in the light of the requirements of pure human nature. Both must be kind, good, sincere, affectionate, caring, polite, respectful and generous to each other. Each will constitute a half in martial relation. Therefore, each must bear the responsibilities of his share. Each must be pleasant to their companion and offer the utmost possible to make the relation meaningful and coherent.


Muhammad hamizan bin yusof said...


We must be clear, In Islam, marriage of a man and a woman is not just about a physical arrangement of living together or financial matter but a sacred contract, a gift of God, to lead a happy, enjoyable life and continue the lineage. But how the happiness of marriage can be achieved?
Spouse must clear about their duty and obligation. For a detailed account of these mutual duties and rights, we’d like to cite the following:

“Piety is the basis of choosing the life partner. Many are the statements of the Qur'an and the Sunnah that prescribe kindness and equity, compassion and love, sympathy and consideration, patience and good will. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says, "The best Muslim is the one who is best to his family." Also, he says, "… and the most blessed joy in life is a good, righteous wife." (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

The role of the husband evolves around the moral principle that it is his solemn duty to Allah to treat his wife with kindness, honor, and patience; to keep her honorably or free her from the marital bond honorably; and to cause her no harm or grief. Allah Almighty says:

"…consort with them in kindness, for if ye hate them it may happen that ye hate a thing wherein Allah hath placed much good." (An-Nisa': 19)

The role of the wife is summarized in the verse that women have rights even as they have duties, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree over them. Allah Almighty says, "And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise." (Al-Baqaraqh: 228)

This degree is usually interpreted by Muslim scholars in conjunction with another passage which states, among other things, that men are trustees, guardians, and protectors of women because Allah has made some of them excel others and because men expend of their means. Allah Almighty says: "Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath men the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great." (An-Nisa': 34)

In other perspective, it is quite the same. They should be mutual respect and mutual help to each other. When these entire obligations are achieved, then a happy marriage will be achieved too!

So, dear friend..we must mentally and physically prepared before decide to marry. Marriage is something that cannot be so easy, we must to realize that marriage is about a duty, responsibility, high commitment and many more. But, behind all those sacrifice there are something that you cannot buy even with a bundle of money..LOVE…

muhammad hamizan b yusof

Sayyidah Nusaibah said...

Many people have expressed their opinion on rights and responsibility of husband and wife. No need to mention them again, but this distinct 'job scope' is very important so that people will clearly understand their roles in a marriage.

However, these situations become blurred nowadays. For example, most of the wives are working and even some husbands are staying at home taking care of the children! These situations make marriage life more challenging. I think compromise is the most important solution.

In addition, both husband and wife have the right and responsibility to make decisions and find effective solutions, manage monetary and emotional issues, and communicate effectively. In all situations, everything must be discussed and one cannot make decision by him/herself in order to live together happily.

Ibn `Umar (RA) reported: The Prophet (SAW) said,

"All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.'' (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

This Hadith commands every individual in society, whether he is a ruler or ruled citizen or even a woman to perform his duties within his own sphere. Not only that, every person are responsible for everything under his/her control and establish equity and justice because he/she is accountable for any negligence on his/her part.


CiK aLfa said...

Name: Nooraidura bt Alias (0919950)
Group 8 Parenting Class


We are already known generally about the responsibilities of husband and wife. However, the practices in family nowadays likely more to husband satisfaction then, the wife rights become little to be enough. It is not I refer to all husbands in this world but definitely most of them apply these kind of practices, right. ‘Man rules the world’. Islam is a very comprehensive religion and has lists of the responsibilities of husband and wife. Fair enough. What are the responsibilities? I will list out several responsibilities that we are less aware in this century. First of all, husband must keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her and vice versa. Today, many wives do their job outside to help their husband to provide good clothing and food for their family. If wife works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part. Husband must avoid excessive jealousy so do the wife. Husband must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes. Then, wife should seek to be a source of calm and rest for her husband. On top of these, a wife also has the responsibility to please her husband, save and maintain love, romance and excitement in her relationship and marriage. Many sacrifices have to be done to achieve this and that’s very tiring for a wife. So, the husband should learn how to understand her point of view and respect her for the things she does for the house. From time to time, help her with the kitchen work or with cleaning. She may feel relieved and she’ll love her husband more =) Husband and wife are reminded that they must send good before them and fear Allah and know that they will meet him. From the other perspective, there is point of view that hold the principle which the wife MUST obey her husband in everything and her husband is the ONLY one who can ‘speak’ (wife has no right to speak) in the family. Be grateful to live in Islam that showers us with bless and harmonies to our family by its guideline. Thank you.

Anonymous said...


Marriage in Islam means a contract that results in the two parties physically enjoying each other in the manner allowed by the Shari'a. It also can be defined as a contract that results in the man and woman living with each other and supporting each other within the limits of what has been laid down for them in terms of rights and obligations. By getting married a husband is not just getting a wife, but he is getting his whole world. From now until the rest of his days, his wife will be his partner, his companion, and his best friend.
Indeed, the relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.

The husband’s duties to his wife are as follows: First Duty: To spend money on his wife. This is a financial right, and includes: food, drink, clothing, and other basic needs. Islamic Law does not define this expenditure monetarily, but left it to the customary practices of society. The expenditure should be within the means of the husband. He should not be asked to spend what he cannot afford. Second Duty: To provide appropriate housing within the means of the husband. The wife has a right to her own home wherein she can feel comfortable. Third Duty: Assisting them in their quest for salvation by teaching them their religion and reprimanding them for disobeying Allah. Husbands play a big role in order to shape their wife’s morality and akhlak. Fourth Duty: To pay a dower. This is a right which precedes the contract. It is a symbol of honoring the woman and it is not permissible to neglect it until after the contract.

The wife’s duties to her husband are as follows: First Duty: Obedience. A wife should be as obedient as she can to her husband. This preserves the family and protects it from collapsing. This is part of Islam’s organizing of the family structure. wife’s obedience to her husband falls into one of four categories: 1- To order her to do something this is prescribed by Islamic law, such as the five prayers. Here the wife must obey her husband, and she would be considered sinful from two perspectives if she fails to obey. 2- To order her to do something which is beneficial to him, or prohibit her from doing something which is harmful to him, such as things which have to do with his food or clothes. She must obey him here unless there is a valid excuse not to. 3- To order her to do something which falls into her private affairs, such as asking her to give him money or forbidding her from speaking to a friend for no good reason. Here she can obey him if she wants but she does not have to. She should consider the benefit and harm of such obedience. 4- To order her to disobey Allah’s commands, and here she must disobey her husband. Second duty: Not to leave the house unless the husband permits it. She should also never sleep outside the house unless she has permission. Third duty: To refrain from fasting voluntarily unless she has permission. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast while her husband is present unless he permits it, nor is it permissible for her to allow anyone into the house unless he permits it.” Fourth duty: Not to let anyone into the house unless he permits it. This is also derived from the above-mentioned hadîth. Fifth duty: To serve and run the house in a reasonable fashion. This does not mean physical work on the part of the woman if a woman of her standing does not generally engage in physical work. It also does not mean physical work if her health does not permit it.

ok,that's all about the obligations as a husband and wife..hope we all will become a good future husband and wife..insyaAllah.. :)

Hanadi binti Ibrahim
Group 8

izzahfarhana said...

Salam madam. May Allah grant us with happy marriage. Amin. My comment on this :

Marriage is a legal contract between two persons. In order to fulfill the objectives of marriage, husband and wife should practice their obligations accordingly. Yeah each gender has its own language that sometimes hard to be understood by opposite gender. But the basic is we must know that we all together are human being.

The nature of human being loves to be loved, to be care, to be respected, and to be appreciated. As Muslims we should follow the guide that has been guided by Al- Quran and sunnah, with God willing everything is going to be fine. It is because the husband and wife has the same meeting point which is Islam even though sometimes they are differ in certain things.

The wife’s rights are the husband’s obligations meanwhile the husband’s rights are the wife’s obligations. Among husband’s obligations are to be responsible to protect and fulfill maintenance of wife. For sure she has the right to be a lady of leisure! This maintenance includes her clothing, lodging, nourishing, general care and well being. Husband should not force his wife to work to earn money. In case she chooses to work, all the money belongs to her alone. But in this globalization era it depends to her whether to contribute something for family in term of financial or not.

Husband also needs to treat his wife with gentle and kind. Besides that, a husband also a leader and must guide his wife for always in line with Islamic way. Even though a husband has veto power over his wife but he needs to show consideration and understands his wife’s feeling and condition.

Meanwhile, for wife she needs to obey his husband as long as it is not contradict with Islamic teaching. As there is a say that behind the success of every man there is woman. Woman completes man’s life. She is the one who will be the joy and the comfort her husband’s eyes. Thus, she needs to be faithful, loyal and always treat the husband as best as she can.

She must avoid the things that the husband dislikes, always gain permission from him first in everything she wants to do and takes care her husband properties wisely. Wife must always give the husband peace of mind and not spending over what he earns. InshaAllah when the woman dies when the husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah .

Once husband and wife fulfill their rights and obligations for sure their marriage will long lasting because they realize that a marriage is not just about responsibilities but a joy to treasure!

Nur Izzah Farhana binti Mohamad Azhar,
Group 8

Anonymous said...

The mandate that are given to husbands can also lead to corruption of power only if they are lacking or neglecting the rights and obligations of wives and husbands. That is why there are some people that believe it is halal to smack their wives around because the woman is the property of the man, which is totally an unislamic idea. Abusive men are completely disregarding the Islamic teachings of kindness, mercy, gentleness, and forgiveness, just as they are disregarding the example of Prophet Muhammad who never hit a woman and was extremely gentle and compassionate with his family.

Thus, every married couple should apply their rights and obligations in marriage. The rights in marriage fall into 3 categories:

[A]Duties that are mutual: (1) To forgive each other’s small mistakes. (2)To provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness. (3)To offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah. (These 3 duties are implied in Allah’s statement: “Live with them in kindness.”). (4) To keep each other’s secrets. (5)To pass the night with one another. (6) To adorn themselves in a reasonable manner. This is implied in the verse: “Be intimate with them in kindness.” And “They have as what is asked of them in kindness.”.

[B]The husband’s duties to his wife are as follows: (1) To spend money on his wife. This is a financial right, and includes food, drink, clothing, and other basic needs. The expenditure should be within the means of the husband. He should not be asked to spend what he cannot afford. (2) To provide appropriate housing within the means of the husband. The wife has a right to her own home wherein she can feel comfortable. (3) Teaching them their religion and reprimanding them for disobeying Allah.

[C]The wife’s duties to her husband are as follows: (1) Obedient, as long as it is not against the Syari’ah. (2) Not to leave the house nor let anyone into the house unless the husband permits it. She should also never sleep outside the house unless she has permission. (3) To refrain from fasting voluntarily unless she has permission. (4) To guard his money and property. (5) To serve and run the house in a reasonable fashion.
However, the husband should always remember that the household work undertaken by his wife is not a legal and Shar’i duty upon her. It is a voluntary service on her part for the welfare and benefit of the family. Therefore, he should always appreciate this goodwill from her. At the same time, he should never overburden her with all the household chores. Wherever possible he should try to provide her with servants or assist her himself.

Married couple should realise that they are life companions who should not restrict themselves to the legal requirements alone, but should join hands to make mutual life as comfortable and harmonious as possible. They are asked to co-operate with each other in solving their day-to-day problems.

Referring back to the purposes of marriages, marriage for couples is to achieve spiritual tranquility for the individual so that they can find an outlet for their feelings and sentiments in a way that drives them to be creative and giving. God Almighty says: “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” [Ar-Room: 21]. With these three qualities; tranquility, love and mercy, marital happiness is achieved in Islam. Nonetheless, other religions also applying quite the same rights and obligation between spouses as in Islam, it is just that they are more to mutual responsibilities in protecting, supporting, managing, and maintaining the marriage, the family and the household.

group 8

Anonymous said...

G8, 0912516

Creating a family with full of peace, happiness, and prosperity is not easy. It is necessary for each party to sacrifices and carries out their responsibilities. Love, honor, loyalty, mutual understanding and others are things that are obligatory which must be built by both husband and wife. By knowing and understanding the rights and obligations of husband and wife, both are expected to make family life based on religious teachings and laws.

Husband’s responsibilities

1.Provide the family with clothing, food and shelter.
2.Assisting the role of wife in raising children.
3.Being a leader, mentor and guardian of the family with full responsibility for the survival and welfare of the family.
4.Standby or ready to take care of his wife when his wife was pregnant or pregnant.
5.Resolving issues with wisdom and not arbitrary.
6.Giving freedom for the wife to think and act according to religious teachings so she will not suffer physically and spiritually.

Husband’s rights

1.Wife carrying out her obligations in accordance with the teachings of Islam such as educating children, running household affairs, and so forth.
2.Getting the service from his wife physically and spiritually.
3.Being the head and lead the family.

Wife’s obligations

1.Educating and caring the children properly and responsibly.
2.Respect and obey husband in reasonable limits.
3.Keeping the family honor.
4.Maintain and manage the provision of a husband (living husband) to provide for the family.
5.Set up and take care of family households for the welfare and happiness of the family.

Wife’s right

1.Receive dowry from her husband when they got married.
2.Be treated with humanity by husband and without violence.
3.Getting care, protection and attention from her husband in order to avoid bad things.

Anonymous said...

Nur Khairunnisa Nasarudin.

In my opinion, a marriage is about the sharing of life between two persons, a man and a woman who are very different to each other in order to get blessings from Allah. In a marriage, the man and the woman who become the husband and wife have a heavy responsibility to fulfill. However, it is not such a burden if someone who plans to marry already knows and understands the rights and obligations of husband and wife.

First of all, I’ll discuss about the obligations of husband. Husband is the head of the family. He should prepare the needs such as foods, clothes, houses, and education for the family. Therefore, he must have a good job to support his family. He must also give ‘nafkah’ physically and sexually to his wife according to his capability. He should be patient and nice to his wife; he cannot use any violence towards his own wife. When his wife helps him to do something, even to make a cup of tea, the husband must appreciate by at least saying thank you. Even the wife has to serve her husband, but the husband can also help his wife to do some house chores. He should also give chance for his wife to rest and pamper herself. If possible, he should hire a maid for his wife to reduce her burden. Husband should also protect his wife and family from any danger and wrong-doing. He must also share Islamic knowledge with his wife or allow his wife to seek that knowledge if he is unable to do so. He should ensure that his family applies Islamic practices. Husband must also appear and smell good in front of the wife, not only the wife. He should also ask for his wife’s opinion before he makes any decision. The husband must also be fair to his wife or wives. Last but not least, the husband must spend more time with his wife and family for the harmonious of the marriage.

Next, I’ll write about the obligations of a wife. Most importantly, the wife must be respectful and faithful to her husband as long as her husband does not ask her to do bad things. She must always listen to her husband and follow her husband’s words. The wife should serve her husband with first class service, if possible. She must also speak nicely to her husband. She should be sensitive to her husband’s needs and feelings. She must make her husband happy even when the husband is in trouble. She must take care of the wealth and welfare of the family on behalf of her husband. She must be able to educate her husband’s children in the best way. She must groom herself for her husband only. Another wife’s obligation is she must not leave her husband’s house and she must not let anyone enter her husband’s house unless she gets her husband’s permission. A wife must also restraint herself from doing any wrong and preserve her dignity. In addition, she cannot ask something from her husband which will add to the burden of her husband.

In conclusion, I am totally agreed that it is really important to understand these obligations first before getting married.

elin~ said...

this is quite an interesting topic to be discuss. marriage is highly encouraged in islam.. and at my age now, i am suitable and completely can be married. however, the issues are..can i do a great job as a wife to my husband? or a good mother to my children? and am i prepared to handle such a big responsibilities as a wife an a mother?
as we know, marriage is sacred in islam. it is a legal contract between a man and a woman and need high comitment between both man and woman. so, it means both man and woman have their own responsibilities and rights towards each others.
many people thought that house chores and taking care of children is the work of wives...however, it never stated in lslam that it is the wives responsibility only. both husbands and wives have to cooperate and work together taking care of children and also the house chores. and it is true that husbands, which is the head of the family needs to provide his family protection, happiness and maintenance. He is responsible for the cost of the food, clothes and accommodation. apart from that, the main duty of wives is creating a relaxing atmosphere inthe family so they can live together smoothly, happily and enjoyably. it is not an easy task for both to complete as it needs cooperation from both sides. it has been said that the rights of the wives are the husbands obligations and vice versa.. so, what is the right of the wives? and what is the rights of a husband?

The Wife's Rights, The Husband's Obligations
1- Consort with his wife in an equitable and kind manner.
2- Have responsibility for the full maintenance of the wife, a duty which he must discharge cheerfully, without reproach, injury, or condescendence.
3- Treat his wife with equity.
4- Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration.
5- Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or uncertainty.
6- Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or hindering her freedom.
7- Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or sympathy for her.

The Husband's Rights, The Wife's Obligations
1-to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as possible.
2-She must be attentive to the comfort and well-being of her mate. She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings.
3- The wife must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest.
4- She must not deceive her mate by deliberately avoiding conception lest it deprive him of legitimate progeny.
5- She must not allow any other person to have access to that which is exclusively the husband's right, i.e. sexual intimacy.
6-She must not receive anyone in his home whom the husband does not like.
7-She may not accept others gifts without his approval. This is probably meant to avoid jealousy, suspicion, gossip, etc., and also to maintain the integrity of all parties concerned.
8- The husband's possessions are her trust. If she has access to any portion thereof, or if she is entrusted with any fund, she must discharge her duty wisely and thriftily. She may not lend or dispose of any of his belongings without his permission.
9- With respect to intimacy, the wife is to make herself desirable; to be attractive, responsive, and cooperative.
10- A wife may not deny herself to her husband, for the Qur'an speaks of them as a comfort to each other. Due consideration is, of course, given to health and decency.
11-the wife is not permitted to do anything that may render her companionship less desirable or less gratifying. If she neglects herself, the husband has the right to interfere with her freedom to rectify the situation and insure maximum self-fulfillment for both partners.

thus, from this..we can conclude that happy marriage life is from the both husband and wives that contribute together to the family, practicing give and take,knows their rights and obligations, understanding each other and good communication between both also plays important role.

nurhazlin ab rahman
group 8

Anonymous said...

perhaps iam not the last person to post. :)

Generally,from perspective of every socities in the world,marriage is a sacred and legal relationship between man and women.The relantionship is built based
on their sincerity,love,understanding toward each others for the perfect and happy life.

In Islam,to strenghten and extend the family relationship are only matters for marriage.
For me,marriage should not be taken for granted.It is an absolute relantionship that partners
must bear in mind no matter how bitter the marriage is, there should be a way to avoid family crisis.

But how marriage can be corrupted? simple.Partners are not take care of their obligations and rights as
husband and wife.Every socities such as Islam,Christian,Buddhism concerned about the rights and obligation
of a spouse toward their partner.For the future husband and wife,they should know and serve your rights and obligations toward your
partners.A husband must provide means for the family and give full commitment to wife physically and emotionally.
Next,when they become dad,the situation become more challenging because they have to provide more
responsibilities toward children.A father must provide good education especially both religious and academic education.
Being a good father and husband is not an easy task but not impossible to do that.As long
as they properly serve the rights and obligation and maintain the good relationship toward family.

A wife bound with responsible toward her husband.They must be loyal to the husband as for example
they cannot be outside the house without his permission.In addition, a good wife also must always control their pride and
dignity anywhere,anytime for protecting her and family from fitna.Apart from that many responsibilities will appear without
they really know they should be act that way.Many examples in Malay or almost every cultures which potray the role of wife toward family
such as providing and serving breakfast,lunch and dinner.However in modern day the cultures is less applied due to time constraint
as the wife has got to work.Hmmm..

Again husband and wife also shared mutual responsiblility such as taking care of,giving love toward each others in family.
Whether or not how busy they focussing on their everyday work,they should not neglect the family.Family first.

Believe In God.Pray and ask for the true happiness in life.If the relationship does't happen that way don't regret
keep asking for the forgiveness because Allah know the best for them.


Anonymous said...

In order to ensure an atmosphere of harmony and to promote a cheerful and successful life in the newly established nest of the newlyweds, Islam has provided guidance and also put great stress on the relationship of husband and wife. It has clearly laid down the respective rights and obligations to avoid confusion and complication in this regard. Duties are mutual like to forgive each other's small mistakes, to provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness, and to offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah and to keep each other's secrets.
The role of husband normatively revolves round the principles that it is his solemn duty to Allah to treat his wife with kindness, honour and patience, to keep her honourably of free her from marital bond honourably, and to cause her no harm of grief .The husband in Islamic law is under obligation to maintain her wife. A husband is responsible for the protection, happiness and maintenance of his wife. He is responsible for the cost of her food, clothes and accommodation. In addition to providing these material needs, a husband has to be kind, understanding and forgiving, and must treat his wife in a tender and loving manner. It is further recommended that a husband be relaxed with his wife, and cheer her up with his humor. Besides, it is of supreme importance that the husband endeavour to handle the matter of sex relations with skill, care and understanding. A husband also should make sure that his wife has sufficient knowledge of her religious obligations and encourage her in observing her devotional duties.
The main obligation of the wife as a partner in a marital relationship is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as possible. She should be attentive to the comfort and well being of her mate. The first task of the wife is to create a home a soft relaxing atmosphere in which she and her husband can live together smoothly, happily and enjoyably. A wife must be faithful and devoted to her husband. Her loyalty is due to him first, even before her kin. She should avoid associating with undesirable or suspicious elements. Besides, a wife should be as obedient as she can to her husband. This preserves the family and protects it from collapsing. This is part of Islam's organizing of the family structure. A wife also should not to leave the house unless the husband permits it. She should also never sleep outside the house unless she has permission. The management of the household is the wife's primary responsibility. She must undertake these tasks with careful supervision and manage it in the best interests of the family. Besides, the wife should take care of herself in order to appear always cheerful, charming and attractive to her husband.
Therefore, Islam has given the correct principles and instructions regarding rights and obligations of husband and wife. These principles, if obeyed in true spirit, would ensure better family and social life.


Anonymous said...

Salam, from what I’ve learned and observed I noticed that marriage really needs high cooperation from both husband and wife in order to live happily and avoid complications. Hence, there are rights and obligations of a husband and a wife provided by Islamic and other perspectives. For instance, a husband needs to take care of his wife and not cause any harm to his wife. There are many teachings from al-Quran that provides guidance for human in a marriage. Meanwhile, the wife also has a right to benefit from all her husband’s duties but must according to her husband’s capacity of living. However, whenever a wife has no longer respect and shows hatred to her own husband, she lost the right of maintenance as stated in Islamic rules. Apart from that, if a husband unable to treat his wife accordingly, his wife has the right to request from court and seek for a divorce as a final precaution. On the other hand, a wife has an important obligation towards her husband and her family which is to be a great partner for her husband and contributes well for the success and enjoyment of the marriage as much as she can. In addition, a husband also must behave as a leader in a family towards his wife and children and guide his family in any circumstances. In conclusion, whenever a couple enters a marriage life, they need to be prepared first, and learn to accept each other’s imperfections in order to maintain their happily marriage forever. Everything that need to be done must be discussed and any problems or difficulties that occurred has to be settled accordingly with collaboration and understanding from the spouse. That’s all from me, thank you =)

Nabila Talib
(0833848) Group8

wych said...

Im impressed with the previous comments, and there left nothing i did like to say - if i did it would much look like copy and paste but in different elaboration. Anyway, here i go...

From my understanding, marriage is something sacred, shared and entrusted within two person - man and woman, whom with the marriage contract would legally bond them as husband and wife. Its the unity of two person and making them as one - as one in living for the rest of their life. What i mean here is both party should observe everything as for each other; live, eat, happy,grieving and etc as a unit. No one should be tossed out or left behind, either in good or bad situation. Marriage offers both party with affection and tranquility, the essential elements every human seek, which exclusively present between different gender (if not they arent normal though). Through religions and laws, married couples are responsible to each other. Both have their own roles and responsibilities.

Husband is the head of the family, the man in charge of the house. Husband is supposed to be the breadwinner but this not mean the wife should not. In economical matter, both should work altogether to bring up the family status - moreover they should work for the sake of the future generation . As husband, he should give what the wife deserved - safety, honor, tranquility, intimacy and attention. Husband should put his wife at a special place, making them as the person they truly appreciate as they has tons of things that they have done and sacrificed for, even the husband cant afford to achieve them.Listening to the lectures is quite bothersome, but its a obligation to keep the ears to what the wife are complaining as there might something important. Its also not wrong to do housechores, instead it is encouraged and even our Prophet [s.a.w] do the housework himself without relying too much on his spouses.

Wife has no less obligation than husband, as the core of the family unit she should support the husband as he deserve it. Wife should not complaint (most of all the time) instead give support to what the husband does as long as it doesnt contradict with the religious teaching. As the person who gain control of the household when the husband is away, the wife is obligatory to keep the house and the members in safe and sound condition, observing her relationship with others especially men and did allow other man to enter the house when the boss is not present and either allowing herself to go out without permission from the husband.
Wife's role is mainly to maintain the health of the family relationship as if is corrupted then the family is barely able to sustain itself.

Helmi Muhammad
Section 8

Anonymous said...

Talking about marriage makes me wonder whether “Am I ready to get married?”...hehe… There are many perspectives on marriage as different people result in different opinions. In Islam, marriage is a legal contract between a man and a woman where by both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract. Recently, I attended an interesting talk on “Let’s Get Married” by Ustaz Mohamad Ridhauddin. According to him, marriage is finding a right person, at a right time, with a right intention. Thus, the question is “What is our ultimate intention on marriage?”. Well, maybe we have our own answer right? =). From the meaning we know that marriage is not as easy as ABC or a toy to be played around. I’m sure all human getting serious whenever concerning on marriage things as they absolutely want to have a happy and never-ending marriage. In order to achieve their aim, certain rights and obligations should be practiced and maintained by both parties. The rights of wife are the obligations of a husband where he must provide consistent maintenance, Mahr and non-material rights. The husband is obliged to bear the financial responsibility of the family so that the wife may be assured security. In addition, a husband is commanded by the law of God to treat his wife with equity, respect her feelings and show kindness and consideration and vice versa. In the meantime, the rights of husband are the obligation of the wife. One of the main duties of the wife is to contribute to the success and happiness of the marriage. She should be attentive to the comfort and wellbeing of her husband. The wife should be trustworthy and honest. Hence, the keyword is "Obedience". Obedience is very important in order to keep the family unit as smoothly as possible, but it must not out of Islam doctrines..

Nurul Elyni Mat Shaari
Section 8

Anonymous said...


Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is a strong covenant (mithaqun Ghalithun) as expressed in Quran 4:21). The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is revocable.

Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you, when you need help, she will do all she can for you

When you have a secret, she will keep it, when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you, when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers, during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and sou, when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).

Muhammad Fadzli Abd Jalil
Group 8

Anonymous said...

Salam. Marriage is very subjective. In my very own opinion, I personally believe that marriage is a sacred relationship between a man (husband) and a woman (wife), and not to forget, it surely comes with responsibilities, yes a huge one. Marriage is equal to responsibility. Marriage is not a game or a playhouse where you can come and play anytime you like. It is the union of husband and wife plus big responsibilities towards each other throughout lifetime. Through their love for one another, they have taken the step to live their lives together forming a family. Thus, an important issue that a couple must pay concern to in marriage is responsibility. Responsibility towards each other starts the moment you say "I do”. Yes, some might say when there is love, everything will do just fine. However, please bear in mind that love does not delegate everything to the other but there is some kind of teamwork between the spouses. Love extends a helping hand. This is applicable in every aspect including the responsibilities of husband towards wife, wife towards husbands and also towards the kids. Love makes one accountable to the other. Love not only makes them responsible spouses but even makes them responsible parents. Future husband and wife out there should let responsibility not be a chore but a joy because it is an expression of love. It has that sense of ownership where both spouse will eventually feel the sense of responsibility in taking care of each other. The husband should set good examples in the marriage, thus the wife will follow. Next, parents should apply it towards their children, this explains by the fact that children observe what their parents’ do. The husband should always try to communicate more with the wife to attain the understanding between them. Thus, when they learn to understand each other more, they will eventually learn to appreciate their partners more. This will then bring to the sense of feeling responsible towards partners. However, this is not only can be done by the husband, all the wife and future wife out there should also plays role in understanding their partners. Responsibility is the vital key to a successful marriage because it is a result of love. In conclusion, marriage is love and love comes with responsibilities.

Najihah Samsudin
Section 8

Anonymous said...

Marriage is the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments and religious ceremonies. In marriage, it is important for both sides enjoy the right and obligations of husband and wife. When we talk about marriage, then it will come into our mind about responsibilities.whether we realise it or not, we tend to focus on dividing things evenly and fairly in a marriage. But, is that means that we are really able to divide things evenly? Here, tolerance between both sides are really important. They have to really understand on what their own responsibilities towards each other and for their own family. For the husband, he should be able to provide a good accommodation for his family. It is not responsibilities for wife to provide a comfort condition in the house. Nowadays, divorce cases is high due to financial reason. There are some cases when the wife become the financial source in the family while the husband just keep saying that he has low income and not enough money to give to the family. Here we can see that, the husband not only neglect his responsibilities to support his wife, but also neglect his responsibilities to protect his family members. It is unfair for the wife as she should sacrifies his income alone for the sake of family. Husband also need to be a helpful person. Don’t just leave the wife to do house chores alone. Of course, some people may say that it is wife responsibilty. But out there, a lot of wife really hope that their husbands will help them a litte bit. If they do so, it will be highly appreciated. For the wife, the most important things is to specially treat the husband. By neclecting the husband, wife will get sin and will be punish in hereafter. It is really important for the wife to take care of her husband. The term take care have a lot of meaning. It is including cooking for him, cleaning the house, manage his clothes and many mores. The wife should be able to make the husband happy and always think that the house is the best place to live for the whole time of his life. Other than that, being a wife should be able to well presented for the husband. Some wife, when they are feeling tired, they tend to neglect their appearances. For example, she does not take bath and of course it will give uneasy condition for the husband. When the husband is not really satisfied with his wife, then the issues of finding another wife will be arised. So, who should be blamed? Wheter the wife is beautiful or not, she should definitely trying so hard to satisfy her husband needs. Sometimes, the wife would just think that, it is not a big problem. But, in reality for the husband, of course it is a big problem. Both sides should clearly know, what is their responsibilites towards each others and to the family. Being a married couple is easy to say than done. The most important thing is, they should trying so hard to fulfill both responsibilities package with tolerance and understanding. Sometimes both sides should understand their partners condition and do not take advantage for what they already have. So, love each others deeply and live as a happy family.. =)

Fatimatul akmal bt sulaiman

Anonymous said...

When the word 'marriage' crosses my mind, i see a few happy and sad images cling around the word as well. Images of little kids, spouses laughing and sometimes fighting with each other, currency symbols and other things which I can't recall at this particular moment.

From what I understand, marriage is a holy tie that enables two souls to share love and responsibilities and live their lives happily according to Islamic teaching. Husbands have huge responsibilities to be fulfilled. A husband is the one who’s responsible to maintain a stable economical status in a family. He is also the one, who protects the beloved family from harm.

Keeping a whole family in-line with Islamic way of life is also a duty of a husband. But, it’s a shared responsibility in making sure that all things mentioned above turn out to be a reality. It means that a wife should give encouragements and positive criticisms towards good things the husband does.

Things can go wrong sometimes. So, both husband and wife need to compromise certain things to make sure that their bond grows stronger every day. It is a job of wives to serve the husbands. And a husband ought to be loving and compassionate towards their wives. In return, wives need to respect and love their husbands as long as they don’t deviate from the Shari’ah.

It takes a lot of courage to be patient with husbands’ wants and needs, and there will be times where wives need to endure husbands’ bad mood and whatnot. But this should not be a big problem because men and women are created to complement each other. Maybe this is why women are created with gentleness in their selves.

All in all, marriage is about sharing, accepting, loving and also forgiving. If these values are present in this sacred relationship, insyaAllah, all the goods and bads that lie ahead can be things that the spouses appreciate and cherish all their lives.

Fairuz Ayuni Mohd Unzir
Section 8

Pengemudi Layang-Layang said...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah..

Marriage is a sacred relationship, a blessed bond for a man and a woman. A bond which is not simply based on lust or merely an overwhelming sexual craving. A bond which is not only because of physical attractions. A bond which is not only tied to fulfill parents' wish or worldly needs. It is a bond which is built on a strong base of genuine love. In marriage, the husband would have to steadfastly love and glorify his wife, which means to always protect the wife, to provide every single thing needed by the wife and to maintain the harmony of the marriage. Same goes to the wife, who needs to obey the husband, protect the honor, maintain the harmony etc. Everything needs to be in mutual way. Both parties need to understand each other. The most important thing is, the marriage would bring both parties closer to the Almighty. The love given to the partner should not surpass the love given to the Almighty.


Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum mdm,

First of all, I’m so sorry for the late posting. So, to answer your question, let me begin with what my opinion about marriage. For me, in simple words, marriage is union between two hearts, ready and willingly to share their laughs and tears with the same person for the rest of their life. It sounds beautiful and obviously what a girl would dream of. However, marriage requires a lot more than only love. In analogical explanation, marriage can be described as an iceberg, where we can only see the beauty and sweetness of it, but actually, underneath, bigger challenges and responsibilities are present.
It is not easy to maintain a wonderful and happily-ever-after marriage, but it is not impossible either. It depends on how the spouses lead the marriage.

Well, Islam as well has given guidelines on how spouses should act to maintain mawaddah and sakinah in marriage. Here, I will state only few of them which attract my attention. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her" this is an order of the Prophet (pbuh) as according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj". Other than that, a husband must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice or complains in every situation. Well, this matter seems to be simple but it means a lot to woman. When a husband does not pay attention to what his wife is saying, the wife would think the husband does not even care about her. Lastly, he must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between a husband and wife "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.

For the wife, the first task of the wife is to create a home a soft relaxing atmosphere in which she and her husband can live together smoothly, happily and enjoyably. The way in which this is to be acheived depends on her taste and their means and upon prevaling values and conditions. Other than that, a wife must be faithful and devoted to her husband. Her loyalty is due to him first, even before her kin. She should avoid associating with undesirable or suspicous elements and should not entertain alone any male friends.
The management of the household is the wife's primary responsibility. She has to take care of meal preparation, house-cleaning and laundry. Whether she undertakes these tasks herself or has them done under her careful supervision, it is her task to manage them in the best interests of the family. She may expect some cooperation from her husband, but this should depend on what he can afford to do. What is important is the mutual goodwill and love which will no doubt stimulate each party to alleviate the burden of the other as much as possible. Lastly, the wife should not be too demanding; she must be contented, and appreciative of any kind gesture her husband may extend to her. For example, she should not insist on buying expensive clothes or luxurious pieces of furniture beyond her husband's means. Thus, in conclusion, it takes both husband and wife to be aware of their responsibilities in order to attain beautiful and blessed marriage.

Farisa Athena

Anonymous said...

When we talk about husband and wife, we have heard many stories regarding this relationship from relatives, friends (from what they see through their parents), and somehow those that were published in say, magazine.
Islam has given us guideline of rights and obligations of a husband and a wife. Follow it both will enjoy a harmonious journey together. So, what are they? Basically the husband provides shelter for the wife, bring out the best teaching in the family to be applied by everyone, to make sure he and the wife is carrying out the responsibility as the vicegerent (to pray 5 times a day) but not to forget his priority towards the parents as a son and many more. These are the obligations of a husband to fulfill. The right of a husband is the wife herself. He is to nurture the wife and lead the relationship on right path. Being together in a marriage should be a wonderful experience because both complete each other not only in the relationship but also, in the quest of bringing out the best Muslim in both of them. Allah swt has given an extra point for those who are married. Some of us may think love is everything between the two. However if it is handled the right way along side by side with responsibility love may add up to the sweetness and joyful of the journey between the two.
As for the wife, she is obliged to make sure the arrangement in the house is done properly. She is the backbone of the husband to take care of the children, the house and her husband. However, it would be lovely if the husband get involved in the process. It would add up to strengthen their bond. It is most important for the wife to take a good care or to protect the husband’s pride. Women these days are mostly working. Therefore she has to balance between working life and being a wife inside the house.