Friday, January 8, 2010

What make/s good parents?

Assalamualaikum

Dear students,

We met for the first time last Thursday night. Me, a bit uncomfortable after having to teach on the fourth night in a row while your faces showed the 'what-am-i-doing-here' symptom.

Teaching this course will definitely expose myself to the danger of being backfired later(if u you what I mean). How can someone who was trained in Education will be able to teach parenting skills (as I honestly believe that mine has a lot more to be improved). So, I would consider this journey as a 'sharing' and learning experience for both of us.The learning outcome says, you guys must be able to posses the ability to :understand the holistic nature of Islam parenting and family management, understand that parenting skills are learnable (who would have thought so) and applicable to family life, able to apply parenting skills in individual and social contexts,identify and solve family problems from the Islamic perspective and to understand the importance of buiding a balanced child personality. Wow...these can be a bit overwhelming to you (and to me) dont you think? But you know what? Lets cut the chase. It is not so much of the small credit hour allocated for this course (I wish you have more than 0.5). And not so much of making sure that your attendance is taken everytime you come to class (even though it's 20% from yr total evaluation). I think , what is crucial is as you learn these skills (I wont use the word acquire as this is difficult to achive) you will continuously map and reflect from your own experiences as a daughter, or son and later, prepare yourselves as future mothers and fathers. You will further learn to notice the strength and weaknesses of the many marriages around you, be it from your own parents ,relatives and friends. What are the plus points or elements that exist in these marriages that we can emulate so that ours will be a successful one. This leads to your first task which is to share your view on what make/s good parent/parents. I believe your experience as a child will help you to answer this question. On that note, I am proud to announce, that you have just embarked yourselves in one of the most important courses in life - Family Management and Parenting. Welcome to the real world!

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, to be a good parent is not an easy job. A good parent should be able to treasure their children, understand them and provide them with sufficient moral values(including religious thought).

Nur Hazlinda Ahmad said...

For me, good parents always listen to their children's problems and guide them how to solve the problems. Don't make decisions for them all the time, they must learn how to live with the consequences from the choices they make.-Nur Hazlinda Ahmad

M. Khotibul Umam(student ccfm2052k) said...

Salam.
In my view, parents who understand their children and can make themselves like friends to their child are good parents is all about. Nowadays, children like to share their feeling to their friends because they think their parents cannot understand them. So, it is the responsibility for parents to always be with their sons/daugters. Besides, good parents is those who can provide their child with religious knowledge. It is the basic and important aspect to have a good and happy family.

Rumaisa Nordin said...

salam,
first.. i totally agree with u mdm., i think being a daughter definitely teach me a lot...
i just couldn't believe that all of us is getting old and soon we have to face the real world of getting job and marriage n etc.
i scared though to think what kind of life i might be facing soon,,, but at the same time i kindda excited..being a good parent definitely is an aim for every1..
but it isn't all about getting perfect all the time, i think is about making mistakes and learn from it..
u may not know that one day u will remember ur mistake and have a laugh about it..hee

Tautan Hati said...

salam..dear madam..good parents for me are parents who provide their children for hereafter and at the same time give LOVE as much as they can..rasulullah as the best example..

~rabbana hablana min azwajina wazurriyyatina qurrata a'yun..ameen~

IMTINAN BAHARUDIN

Tautan Hati said...

good parents..those who provide their children for the hereafter and at the same time give LOVE as much as they can..rasullullah is the best example..

~RABBANA HABLANA MIN AZWAJINA WAZURRIYYATINA QURRATU A'YUN..ameen~

=)

NurulJannah Zahari(0812896) said...

In my opinion, good parents should always support their children whether in happiness or sadness....
Other than that, good parents should always understands the children needs and takes all the responsibility towards their children. Love and care are very important method in being good parents....

Nurul Syahida Bt Muhamad Taufi said...

In my opinion, good parents are parents who can be good friends to their children but at the same time the children still respect them as a parent. Before making decision for the children, good parents should know the consequences that both party will face. Good parents also must have fundamental knowledge to teach their children about things to do in their life and what they should bring for life hereafter.

ili aqilah said...

i think good parents should think creatively how to manage their family.parents as a role model must give a good example for their children.good parents lead to good children.and the most important things is never forget pray for Allah for the happy family ever after=)

A'fifah Happas (ccfm2052k) said...

hai teacher...
from my point of view, "care" is the most important thing. i dont mean the "care" of brought up the child from baby till it become adult. but here "care" is in term of attention towards the children. attention in their feelings,attitude,behaviour their education and all sort of things form the islamic teachings and also the ral world taht they have to face it.. care with giving the love that they need..like my ibu always told me "if u dont care it means you dont love, but if u care,then it means u love that person." for that, perents should care for thier children in making a good family., :)

Shaiful Helmi Bin Hasan said...

salam...for me, be good parents are not so easy. We need to have knowledge about parenting before we married. Parents need to provide their children Islamic knowledge and act as good Islamic parents. Nowadays, the social problems among teenagers happen because lack of Islamic knowledge and they do not behave according Islamic teachings..

NOR SHAHIRA BT ABD RAZAK said...

salam...
i believe that good parents will always want the best for their child. love is the most important thing to make sure the relationship between the family members are stronger from day to day. when the child are being loved, they will put their trust in their parents, that will translate into confidence and security. consequently, it will lead to the happiness of the family...=)

saOd yg bAhagia said...

salam.
madam,for me, what makes someone a good parents is how they can adapt and understand our culture now.its not like they have to follow the culture but they must understand it so that they can counter argue(if needed) with solid reasons.for example,the use of hand phone for kids. they can choose not to give a hand phone for their children to own it but they must have a solid reason that can make their children take that reason without quarrellings.in order to do that,parents should understand and somehow adapt with the culture.automatically,the parents will be a good friends of their children once they understand their children's needs and respect their children's thought. and that creates positive vibe in the family.

-Nor Saadah Saari..0814014..student ccfm2052k..-

Nor Aini Ishak (ccfm2052k) said...

Salam...
To be a good parents,
easy to say but not easy to do..
For me, fulfill the children needs is not enough,but be friend with them and understand them better..can help to be a good parents.

Nor Afizah Binti Ahmad (ccfm2052k) said...

salam...
In my opinion, the parents should understand their children very well. Don't make decision for them but always guide them to choose the best decision in their life. Sometimes parents should ask their child’s opinion. So, the parents will become more closer to their children.

Aku Mu'iz said...

Assalamu'alaikum w.b.t.
Dear Madam & Friends,
“What makes good parents???” First of all, this is only my opinion and I want someone to comment & criticize my ideas. For me, knowledge is the big point if we want to discuss this issue. I would like to encourage all of my friends to read Tarbiyatul Awlad, written by Dr Abdullah Nashih Ulwan. One of the basic things stated in this book is about muamalat between man & woman before them getting married. In the other words, there are no relationship that allowed by Islam until they become husband & wife.

Nurul Syazana Bt Adam said...

Assalamualaikum..
For me, a good parent shows a good relation in a family. As a good parent, responsibility must come first. Parents should care and understand about what their children do and want. A good parent have to listen to his or her child's need or problem. Besides, treat a child as a good friend to make them respect and comfortable with their parents. Give a good attention also important as well as give a fundamental Islamic knowledge to build a strong faith to a child.
Nurul Syazana Bt Adam (CCFM2052)

hasnedza said...

Salam,
First of all parents must know their children behavior and feelings. This is an easy job because parents have experienced being a daughter and a son before. Of course as a parents they must believe their children because it makes their children trust them and share the secret with them. However, the difficult part is to teach them because parents must think of the effective way that suited the culture and generation.
- Nur Hasnedza Radzali

nor junaidah said...

salam..
In my opinion,to be a good parent, fundamental of Islamic knowledge is very important.. In Islam, we are thought how to be a good parent in term of moral,ethic,balancing life in this world and hereafter. Moreover,love is very important too.Some children didn't notice that their parent love them because they thought that love need to show.Somehow,love is not necessary to show but enough to feel it.If our parent do not love us why we are still alive until today and they still care about us even though sometimes we are not feel that they cares about us.

Salwa Izwani ccfm2052k said...

Salam.
i`m proudly joining this class.Of course ,be a parent is so hard and married with right person is a hope for every body,but imagine is something happen in our future and we became a single parent.It is so thought to handle this situation.i really hope that our class of parenting can gives guides to face this moment and became a good single parent to take care of all children if many...tq.

riniecomot said...

Salam madam..
For me,good parents mean that they can guide their children physically and mentally towards the way that their children wanted to be in future..of course, in islamic way..It's been a dream for every parent to see their children get to success in their lives but how to accomplish that??this what we say that parents need to play their role..But in what way??do we need to be harsh to our children??of course not..the more we forcing them,the more they become ignorant of what we are trying to teach them..so,parents should understand well the behavior of their children before they guide them..from that,they will try to be good parents towards their children..

Rinie Narinie bt mohd nasir
0817834

Nor Aliaa Zainal Abidin said...

salam....
in my opinion, to be a good parent is not easy like we think, like we said. i guarantee some of people in this universe(sometimes),will think,"can we have more sporting mother or father, can we have more supportive mother or father and so on". but i believed,in the future our children (sometimes) will also think like that (because they do comparisons with others),no matter how great do you think that you already done for them.
maybe it is too hard for us to be an excellent and good parent but what the most important is, we have to try to be better parents
than before!

so, what is important in being a good parent is you have to make the children like your really bestfriends. from the beginning, you have to share and spend time together with them because these will make them comfortable with you. what i mean "like your friends" is like your children can share anything with you, about their thoughts,feelings,games,entertainment,and many more. there is no doubt that, happy family starts with a good attachment among the family members.

Mashitoh Abu Seman (0814644) said...

Salam...
To be a good parents is about on how we are going to act,behave, responsible,love,take care and others towards our children even though the child is adopted.Children are amanah from Allah and not all parents have their own children. Besides, let them know that they are Muslim is not because of their parents are Muslim but parents must show that Islam is the only way of life.Let us be the good parents with happy life.

Nadia Zainudin said...

salam.
being a good parent is all about understanding,caring,loving and trust your children.Give a proper education here and hereafter so that the children can lead their life in a better way.

DILAILA FAUZI (Student ccfm 2052k-sec 6) said...

Salam..In my opinion,a big part of good parenting is establishing "respect" between parents and children. If I have children soon,I will listen to them by expressing interest in my children and involves myself in his/her life. Then,I will create an atmosphere in which they can come to me with a problem however large or small. The children needs to know what we expect of her and we in turn must learn to listen and wait. Parenting does not stop when a child grows up.Means here,being a good parents remains a life-long role.

Zariah Lokman said...

dear madam hayati,
being good parents for me, is subjective in its meaning. some parents will say its good to do this but for some others maybe its not. actually, parents should always update themselves with knowledge of parenting as much as understanding the culture. yet every parent has their own way of thinking and also experiences. understanding, loving, and always be there. these are points that should be practice by parents . most important, parents should be creative to use psychology in order to guide their children to the right path.high commitment from parents also counted. :)

nazirah bt. ahamad said...

in my point of view,parents can only be considered as good parent if they can become friend to their children.friend that can easily be talk, sharing opinion, gossiping and such..in other words, good parent is someone that their children can share anything.

nazirah bt. ahamad said...

in my point of view,parents can only be considered as good parent if they can become friend to their children.friend that can easily be talk, sharing opinion, gossiping and such..in other words, good parent is someone that their children can share anything.

Nurul Zainariza Zainal Abidin (ccfm2052k) said...

In my opinion, there are a lots of things that can make a good parents.From my view, love and understand their children is the most important thing to be a good parent. I really believe that love can make everyone in this world become strong, happy and piece. Parent that can understand their children to me is very success parent. What i have observe to my parents, they have use this two method in teaching my sister and i, and its work in build a one happy family. Good parents is one way to born success generation in future.

Nurul Amira Ahmad Fadzil said...

The basis of a good parenting is the attention to their children. Able to give quality time is a foundation of good relation in the family. Hence, it can lead to better control of their children growth. Finally, good parents teach their children to see and understand all things from the perspective of Islam.

withlove_fatin said...

Salam Madam,
1st of all, i just wanna tell u that ur name same as my mom's name; Nor Hayati Abu Bakar. :=)
that's only a short advertisement :-D

For me, good parents are those who always look and take things at the bright side. They always give support to their children especially in their life matter such as education, financial etc. They will give courage and strength to their children in order to achieve goals in this world and hereafter. When their children feel down, the good parents will give a motivated words to them and don't look them down. Use words like 'You can do it! Or it's alright, you can try harder and get what you wish someday.'The good parents should give their children guidelines on how to be a good human being in this world so that they can contribute something extraordinary to our religious, nation and country. A mesmerize guidelines include on how to make a right choice in life. Besides that, they should be a good example or role model to their children.

-Fatin Nasuha Binti Sabri;0810254; ccfm2052k; section 6-

Saidatul Syazana Al Amin Malim said...

salam..
For me, to be a good parent, we need various knowledge and skill. All these we will get through our life. The most important is, we must prepare ourselves and ready with good knowledge about Islam..because later we as parent will create the children life. The new born baby are like white cloth, then this is the parents job to color it. This mean if the parent lead their children in a good way, then insyaAllah the children will become a good person. But it is difficult for us
to be a perfect parents, right? but we still can try our best in the future to be a good and caring parent..insyaAllah

siti hanisah said...

salam...dear madam..
for me, to be a good parents there are many challenges need to face..they not only give materials needs but the most important things are love and attention...give them freedom to explore but still guide them..give them support as long as not beyond syariah and teaching..can act as a teacher and friends to their children..can share everything with them..

Nurfatiah bt Hamzah(0810768) said...

salam mdm,
For me a good parent is parent who understand their child by be friend with them.They also need to nourish their child with religion teaching..

nur farahin mohd haris said...

dear mdm,
in my pt of view, good parents should let their children experience evrythg, the good and the bad. bt that doesnt mean they should let the real ugly things happen to their children.the parents should give advice and guidance to them .in other words, the parents should let loose and let them choose.

nur farahin mohd haris
0812326

Hanisah Abd Aziz said...

Salam
For me,good parents must understand each and everyone of their children in order to raise them well and give education according to their ability.The most important thing is to give full attention,love and happiness to the children so that they will not feel neglected, by giving the islamic education from the beginning of the child life.

Saiful said...

For me, becoming a very good parents is not easy as abc. A lots of obstacles need to overcome to be a very good parents especially in this era. As we all know that, social issues among us increasing from day to day. So, to solve this problem is initial education when they are still young. And this is parents' responsibilities.
Beside that, a good parents also must understand their children and this is not a easy task. especially for the parents that work from early morning and come home lately. so, the children may lacking of love from their parents.
Furthermore, a good parents also can handle problems especially related to the family. As our prophet Muhammad S.A.W use 'musyawwarah' or by discussing to solve every problems.
Lastly, as a muslim we can make our beloved prophet as our role model in daily life. In parents context, try to apply on what our prophet had taught to us. And always praying to Allah so that our family always in happiness without any obstacles that may separated us.

Saiful said...

For me, becoming a very good parents is not easy as abc. A lots of obstacles need to overcome to be a very good parents especially in this era. As we all know that, social issues among us increasing from day to day. So, to solve this problem is initial education when they are still young. And this is parents' responsibilities.
Beside that, a good parents also must understand their children and this is not a easy task. especially for the parents that work from early morning and come home lately. so, the children may lacking of love from their parents.
Furthermore, a good parents also can handle problems especially related to the family. As our prophet Muhammad S.A.W use 'musyawwarah' or by discussing to solve every problems.
Lastly, as a muslim we can make our beloved prophet as our role model in daily life. In parents context, try to apply on what our prophet had taught to us. And always praying to Allah so that our family always in happiness without any obstacles that may separated us.

Anonymous said...

For me, becoming a very good parents is not easy as abc. A lots of obstacles need to overcome to be a very good parents especially in this era. As we all know that, social issues among us increasing from day to day. So, to solve this problem is initial education when they are still young. And this is parents' responsibilities.
Beside that, a good parents also must understand their children and this is not a easy task. especially for the parents that work from early morning and come home lately. so, the children may lacking of love from their parents.
Furthermore, a good parents also can handle problems especially related to the family. As our prophet Muhammad S.A.W use 'musyawwarah' or by discussing to solve every problems.
Lastly, as a muslim we can make our beloved prophet as our role model in daily life. In parents context, try to apply on what our prophet had taught to us. And always praying to Allah so that our family always in happiness without any obstacles that may separated us.(>.<) Saiful aka sapt

Khairul Anuar Bin Husin said...

Salam,
In my opinion,to be a good parent,we should do all the things below:
1.We should teach our children since they are baby.(in term of religious thought and worldly life)
2.Dont hurting them physically and emotionally because it is not the best way to teach them.
3.Give what they want as long as beneficial for them.
4.We should spend much times to have a good conversation with them because it can tighten the relationship between parent and children.
5.Good parents always alert about their children because parents are the main role to produce good children.
Sorry mdm if all the tips are not successful...heee...=)

mohd hafizul fazly 0818979 said...

salam...how to be a good parents....actually its not easy because its related with the emotion of loving and also caring to someone..actually,to be a good its easy...just learn from the akhlaq of our prophet..but the process of learning doing that particular thing to our family its not easy and must be istiqamah(continously)..just think that if we want to be the best,we must target to that...must have and efford and must ready to have a responsibility...because we as a muslim actually "leader" and every leader will be ask for their responsibility hereafter...think wisely before getting married.....salam

Rozila Haizam binti Gazali said...

Salam...mdm..
For me,good parents must always together with children, make children happy,give motivation to them, call them with the good name,give full of attention to them, nurture child with full of love, give proper education, be responsibility and give protection.
~Rozila Haizam Gazali~

masniza said...

In my opinion, the important thing that good parents are, successfully educated their children with islamic perspective.But not only that, be a good parents they also able to show a good role model in every aspect of life to their children.
-Normasniza mat rashid(0819732)-

ahmad shukri-0815115 said...

salam madam..in my point of view,good parent must show a good example to their son.good parents always listen to their children's problems and guide them..beside that,parent should show their love to their son to make the relationship between them is superbly stronger.for example,father can hug their boy to show how high parent love to their son.your children can share anything with you, about their thoughts,feelings,games,entertainment,and many more. parent also let their son experinces life by himself,but with the good guidances and an good islamic foundation.

Nurul Husna Binti Mustafa (ccfm2052k) said...

Firstly,I love my parents.Im very grateful to be their daughter.Why I said So??...Because I just love the way they show their love and care toward each other,eventhough in front of us,their children.My mom and dad teach us through their act and good manner.parents nowadays should do so.You as a mom or dad should navigates your life partner and kids iinto the path as Islam is the way of life.Good example shown to your kids integrates their good first impression toward live as a big HAPPY family.More else,teach them,listen to them,guide them,be friends with them,understand them,dont too strict,dont too spoil,other than that...dont forget to seek for forgiveness from ALLAH the Almighty..thanks q(^_^)p

Thuraiya Ahmad (ccfm 2052k) said...

to me,there a list..
1.give good example for their children
2.give their BEST as if they can
3.care about their children life,education and social.
4.give moral support to their children
5.be a good friend to your own children..good friend not betray each other..

farah binti musa said...

for me,good parents should always befriend with their child. children nowadays, like to share their problem with their friend rather than their parents. another thing is, parents should know what their went they go out and who their friends

Hamizah Mhd Najili said...

Salam Madam.

Parents is a role model to their children, because parents is the person who they know from the first they were born until they grow up. Whatever parents are doing, they will follow. So do show a good manner and guide them.

Teach them what is good and prevent what is bad. When you say 'no' to something, tell them why is it 'no'. Do not just simply say 'no' without reasons because they should know what the real world is.

Do draw a nice and colourful pictures on a white clothes when the clothes is still white, because it is hard to clean clothes when they turns black, same goes to melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya.

People are free to say what they like because talking do not need a money, but doing like what they say is not easy as they thought, like others said, being a good parents is not an easy job.

-Hamizah Mhd Najili, CCFM 2052K-

TG.Hasmawi TG.HassaN said...

Salam. In my opinion, parents who are leads their child to succes not only in this world but also hereafter is the best to prove that they are good parents by supporting their child with the right knowledge that benefit to all.

hanafi said...

salam...
to be a parent is easy..but to be a good parent is a burden, a burden that all parents have to carry up..it is because the good parent have to give all aspects of knowledge to their children and provide them with good moral values.....
but today,the problem that we face is not how to be a good parent but to be a good children.we cant just say that a good children is come from a good parent.

safarina ali said...

in my humble opinion, good parents should provide necessity things to their children according to their capability. they must pay attention on their children's islamic development. Together with their children, they need to hear what problems their children facing, discuss and solve the problems. Therefore, children will easily share with the parents if they having a problem.

Anonymous said...

HANANI 0819082

For me, to be a good parents is not easy as A,B,C. It is because this is a big responsibity toward the children since they are born until they are able to think what is right and what is wrong.
Parents should teach their children everytime because as we know,children can start learn at 2 years old.So, the parents must teach the children with the best lesson and show a good example for them. Of course it is the difficult part because it is not easy to always behave ourselves.
Thus, to be a good parents we must try to have this character.

Nurul ain said...

salam..from my point of view, a good parents not reflect a good child. But, as a parents they still need to try to be as good as they can to teach and care of their children. Even some parents come from the good background but their children`s behavior not show the same thing to other. This such of problem we can relate to the influence from environment. For example, scool and their friends. So, to be a good parents, first they need to understand their children situation. Be a friend to their child is the best way. From this their child will not shy to tell or share their feeling with parents. Other than that, parents also have to fulfill what their children want. This is because children will show the bad respond if they don`t get what they want, but on the same time parents should advice and contol them. To conclude, what i want to say is to be a good parents they must be sporting but in the same time they also need to strict in some matter.
nurul ain 0819176

nadirah din said...

salam..dear madam..in my opinion, to be a good parents is so hard in this era. so, parents has to know how to handle their chidren. to handle children who always rebel, is not by punish or ignore them but has to advice and be friend with them. then, monitor them in what ever they doing. besides that, acknowledge them with the good lesson, moral and attitude based on islamic teachings is a basic one.and good parents also have to show the good example for their cildren..

Thuraiya Ahmad said...

salam madam...
for me,being a good parents is when parents know and understand their children...they know their children's feeling...they must understand better because become parent in today's era is not easy..parents should spend their time to their children..and also give them enough education as they can...should give balance education of here and hereafter..

-Thuraiya Ahmad-

Nor Afizah Binti Ahmad (ccfm2052k) said...

In my opinion, parents should always saying I love you,that is important. But even more important is showing the child that the parents love them by giving them time and attention. Playing games, reading stories, and talking all show your love. Encouragement is also essential. Every child needs
to feel like their parents are their best cheerleader. And with their parents help they can accomplish anything.

khairulanwar darman.0813919.ccfm2052k said...

from my point of view..A good parents are those who understand the needs of the children and at the same time able to inculcate the value of morality and ethics as they are growing. they have to be able to idealize thier children wihout being objected

remy 0816893 said...

salam madam...remy here...:0

what makes good parent??good parents is the parents that can show the good way to their children.They must teach the children balancely duniawi and akhirat.Do not give everything that our children need. teach them to work hard to get the reward.when we dead,we only leves 3 things in thie world...our charity,our good deeds and our good children that always pray for us...

amin0818077 said...

good parents ought to born a good kids..

they should tought and seed their kids with the goodness of life..

should led the kids through good example because parents are the role model for their kids...

from home,
kids start the beginning of life for their...

good parents means to provide their kids not only the needs food and things,but also their feelings,love and goodness..

0815632 - NOR ATIQAH BINTI ROZLIN said...

SALAM,
In my opinion, not all people are perfect. But we must try our best to be a good parent. I know it is difficult, but easy when we learn and experience it.
Nowadays, children are more expose to many crucial problem in social. One of the factor is from parent itself. Just concentrate to find income for their family, without thinking the needs of love and care for their children. Parent forget to educate their children internal and external.
For me, learn from the experience, observe others. We can learn many things in order to be a good parents that can make our family be a good ummah.