Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What Do You Do When You Are Rejected?

Dear all..

A few months ago a friend called mentioning she was rejected by someone special in her life.
Special here means someone whom she likes, feel happy with and hope to pursue to a more serious relationship.
You see, I am not an expert in handling rejections. Therefore, I could only give her advice based on my past experiences.... which not necessary had helped her in any way.
True enough...a week ago she still sounded bad, her self-esteem was still low and God knows what other 'damages' had occurred in this very nice person. She has a beautiful soul to me but she fails to see that in her.

It dawn on me that what she really needs is to see things more clearly in order for her to move on with her life. Without proper guidance, this feeling of rejection will 'linger' for a long time and for some, the rest of their lives....

You see, what is unfair is that, the person who CAUSED the rejection is not (again Im assuming) emotionally devastated as she is. He might be continuing his life as usual as if nothing happens (you know what I mean?). If Dr.Mahathir once mentioned "Melayu mudah lupa" , I would rephrase (in this case), "Lelaki mudah lupa" (Ampunkan patik..)

Well, people say that it is a bit 'inappropriate' for teachers to discuss this matter. However, I beg to differ. I suppose, we need to talk this thing out because it is REAL, it happens to everyone in the process of growing up and might happen again even after you pass that supposedly 'teenage life'.

Feeling 'rejected' is REAL. Let us not deny that. It seems trivial for 'outsiders' but for those who experience it (or shall I call victims) will have to face it every other day thinking what went wrong and trying to find answers to the predicament.

Because I have a class to attend tonight and phew this is such a crazy week, I shall continue this soon. Meanwhile, if you have any tips or advice on this matter, feel free to drop your comment. I believe this girl and many more out there need as much help as possible to be back on their feet.

It is definitely NOT EASY to be in their shoes.It is easier said then done. However, I hope they will have the courage to move on and continue with this beautiful life that God has given us.

Take care.

19 comments:

0812798 said...

The girl should always pray to Allah in order to soften and open the guy's heart so that, the guy will accept her (InsyaAllah).

Nur Hasnedza said...

Maybe the girl should grooming herself to show off to the guy. Actually the intention is not to flirt the guy but it is to improve self-appearance and self-esteem. It is also to show that, she can be a better person without him. Maybe she is for another man not the guy who rejected her.

Anonymous said...

anything happen, happen f0r a reas0n.. remember, there will always rainb0w after the rain..

(^_^)

remy said...

she deserve better!!!
juz try to forget that guy..i know its really3 hard because i feel da same as her...but,live must go on....there are thousands of human in this world...but we do not find our true love yet!!...saknyu...:)

0625504 eop Sec32 said...

Everything happen for a reason. Allah had decreed the best thing for each of us. Maybe he's not the best for her. Who knows her future soul mate might be way better than the guy.

I believe everyone experience the feeling of being rejected, it's just that we face it in different context. Never give up and never let despair controls your emotions.
Remember, Allah is always by our side, we should never loose hope in Him. =) Inshaallah she'll get over it.

Anonymous said...

Expressing your love to someone is a big risk. Because we don't know that person will accept or reject. That why most of people really afraid to express their love because they don't want to be depressed. But, life must go on. Maybe your are not destined with him. -saiful-

raihan (group 30) said...

Salam...
As human being, we all know that not everyone will like us. And of course we cannot make everyone to like us. However. I believe that every single thing that happens to us has its own meaning. There must be a lesson behind any incident. Even for me, I always ask myself for something bad that happen to me. And finally I realize that I should not ask for 'why' it happened to me.. because I do not really know whether it is good or bad for me. Because Allah knows best. He knows what I need and what I want.. He has His reason for everything that happens to us. As His servant, 'usaha', 'doa' & "tawakkal' are the formula in striving in this world. Do the best and leave the rest to Him..

Anonymous said...

feel pity to that girl..somebody please cheer her up!!hmmm..everything happen,there will be a reason behind it..either we will find out it sooner or later..actually, i once read about one of the group that Allah promise heaven for them is a girl who die before they get married and still virgin, she will be sent in jannah..maybe, that's why i'm still single until now..haha...my principe no love or dating before marriage..but of course we still need to find it..pray to God with pure and fully heart because Allah is the best listener,dependable and planner..If that person is the best for you, then Allah grant as your wish..lastly,believe that every 'blooming flowers', there will be a person will pluck it..just hope that person will appreciate it..if it is not in this world, it will be in hereafter...InsyaAllah..

Maclean Patrick said...

Grieve...that's what I would do. I've had my share of rejections and it's always good to just cry and go nuts for a while and then, you be the best person you can be. I believe the best way to get back at the person who hurt you, is to be the best person they miss out on.

Anonymous said...

0817754_CCFM 2052
Salam...

Rejection by someone that u love in your life is not the end of everything..your life is still the best things that you should monitor.. u are the painter, creator of your life. whether u want your life to be in a heaven or hell..thats depend on u.. and...what are the things that i should do when i've been rejected are.. try to remember who u are before u know him/her, how's ur life, a happy time u had with ur friends & in everything that u faced, please remember Allah is the best place for u to hang on besides ur lovely parent at home...

saOd yg bAhagia said...

rejection,it is REAL indeed! i admit that i have gone through it once.i became weak and devastated. i cry and cry and cry.all of my friends wanted me to stop crying but i just can't.so i choose to watch a drama series called "1 liter of tears" because i wanted to cry. at least my friend would understand why am i crying because they know that drama was sooo sad. and i admit also that most of the time,i am not crying because of that story.i cried because of the pain of being dumped by someone whom i love.

i do think crying is the best treatment when in pain.because when we cry,we wash away the pain together.express it! do not hold back.do not keep the pain inside.throw it away.its useless to keep.give yourself a time to mourn.and when you have done mourning,just move forward.

or in a simpler explanation, "if someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it!" peace~
-saadahsaari-

sya said...

there is one quote i like to share..

" and I promise someday u'll regret losing me and u'll think back and say "damn..that girl realiii DID love me..."

esah said...

hye everybody...
yup,it is so much pain if you are rejected by someone you adore. But, life must go on and people who are in your surrounding could help you to overcome it. I think, she has done well, she confessed her feelings and she already get the feedback. Though it is a negative one, well at least she know the truth. Anyhow, She'll be fine since...she has a good friend who is a good listener.additionally, if she has the courage to take the first step, she must also has the courage to reverse it. Good luck sis~ :)

Anonymous said...

hmm...for that girl..
don't worry,if u feel down,take your time..u wil forget it when the past by
just take it as a new experience,learn from it,people learn from mistake and experience..
maybe he just not for u...
anyway,life must go on..

Mashitoh 0814644 said...

Salam...
I think the first thing I will do is crying.I strongly belive that it is not easy to accept when someone rejected us.However, one must remember that love cannot be forced and people can change; may be he love us now and do not love us anymore one day.Thus, we need to be strong to survive our lives. We need to pray in order to get the best partner.

husna mustafa ccfm 2052 said...

when i've been rejected...as a girl,we cannot ignore the turbulance of emotions..easily get sad and unstoppable crying..but,i'll think positively,there are a reason behind this,,so.i'll just learn it,as experiences and get my life go on..for my journey that are just started..

iera_ney said...

yeah.. it's very sad when we are rejected especially when all the heart and hope we put on him.. may advise is be strong and believe that Allah want to give us better (much2 better) than him that we have never imagine it before.. you know, sometimes we know nothing actually.. let me share you a story.. true story.. my elder bro having the same experience.. they have coupled for few years.. how much my bro loves that girl until he was willing to lose his best friend and he said he don't mind to marry her (that girl informed him that she was sick)..and one night, a guy called him that he has married to my bro's girlfriend (i guess proudly informed my bro).. my bro cried because the girl say nothing.. and few months later (~6 months), my bro's friends inform him that his ex-girlfriend already giving birth.. and I said to him (my bro), that's why Allah knows better than us and want to give us a better person.. i share this story not to humiliate anyone, just take it as our lesson.. there are better person out there that more suit with you..

Anonymous said...

experience be rejected actually help us to make our life better.Sometimes we met terrible person ealiar because it is a way to meet someone much better in the future - shahida LE4000k

Anonymous said...

Salam.

dear mdm i am actly one of ur current students but i prefer to remain unknown hehe :)

well after u asked us in class to check out ur previous posts i decided to click on every previous posts while i can. while running down the posts then i read this entry. i can tell what it's like being rejected. i was there..well there's a long story behind it. it's been 10 years and i cant finish what i've started.

i can tell it was him if i happen to hear only footsteps away from me if it's him. and then i was in mid valley n suddenly my instinct was telling me he was there too..all these are true mdm

there was this one guy in my life. we knew each other since my childhood.i was 5 years old at that time. we were getting close day by day. how am i supposed to know that i like him for more than a friend? i think it happened to fast. then, we still get in touch until one day he told me he has a gf. all this while i never have feeling towards anyone but him and suddenly he told me that..my world stopped for a moment.he is the 1st person who entered my heart..and now i couldn't forget him. it has been more than 10 years but the scars and memories are all in same place.can you imagine how i live with all that? but you know what..that somehow give me strength to move on.that hurts alot but i choose to be real.i mean, when i look at it i feel very bad because he didnt see me there.then i think i deserve more than that. what i do is continue on my study to pursue my dream..get a phd and make my parents happy :) i know there are always people who love me for the real me..they are my family. but unfortunately my heart 'merajuk' because of the previous pain and i think should be an extra careful in future because i dont want to lose myself when it hurts for the second time. pray for me, one day i'll find someone way better who love me in the name of Allah swt.